


Turning Points

by aleksrothis



Series: The World Keeps Turning [1]
Category: 18th Century CE RPF, American Revolution RPF, Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gender Dysphoria, Implied Relationships, M/M, Misgendering, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, implied Von Steuben/various, implied Washington/Lafayette, mostly Bradford throwing shade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleksrothis/pseuds/aleksrothis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benjamin Tallmadge - Washington's Spymaster.  Benedict Arnold - Hero of Saratoga.  How will an unexpected relationship change the course of history?  Locked in their own battle against British intelligence, whilst the Continental army is divided and it seems there is a traitor in their camp, two men face a more personal struggle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some notes on historical accuracy - TURN's haphazard approach to timelines has caused me a significant amount of headaches trying to ground this fic in the actual historical period. My preference is to go with the series canon where I can wrestle the real series of events to fit and to make my alterations as minimal as possible where I can't. Some more detail in the end notes which contains mild spoilers for this chapter.

Knowing he shouldn't let a rat like William Bradford get to him and managing not to react to the man's provocations are two very different things. Major Bradford is currently reading from the very pamphlet Ben has tried to warn Washington about, 'Thoughts of a free man' indeed, more like 'opinions of a traitor,' yet Washington still won't say a thing to defend himself. Ben isn't the only one who is riled up by Lee's supporters either, made confident by Washington's recent loss at Germantown and Gates' victory at Saratoga, and they're all spoiling for a fight. Unfortunately Ben is on his own right now, Washington's aides-de-camp incapacitated or busy and Caleb not talking to him, but he cannot let this stand.

He gives Bradford a warning. "Your anonymous hero makes common sense sound a bit like treason," he says, hoping his hangers-on will take it to heart and move away even if the other Major is too far gone but instead Bradford insists on provoking him further and further and they are soon in each other's faces, Bradford's cronies on their feet, but waiting for the moment.

Ben knows he's being foolish but having started he can't seem to stop the words coming out, mocking Lee's own capture and history of wenching. "No wonder he's been so absent in the field," he hears himself saying, his temper up now as Bradford tries to press the advantage of his height, his men moving to surround them. "He's too busy playing with his horn pipe." Ben gestures deliberately lewdly.

Bradford looks him up and down then, "At least he's got one..." Ben's blood runs cold.  Bradford doesn't know, surely he can't know. He struggles to keep his composure as Bradford continues, "and the sons to prove it. While poor George must content himself with collecting young men."

Despite the relief rushing through him, Ben doesn't appreciate the implication that his worth to Washington is as a substitute son, and certainly not as a catamite, and the look on Bradford's face is more suggestive of the latter. Even so Ben is still shaking from the fear Bradford might have found out his secret and struggles to get any response out. "Why, you..."  He shoves Bradford in the chest, nearly pushing him into the camp fire but now his friends have decided to join in. Ben is outnumbered, even if he could hold his own against one of them, he can't take on four and soon he is forced to the ground. Fortunately Bradford is merely throwing punches, almost blind with rage, and Ben is able to block most of the blows but he recognizes it won't work for long.

Bradford evidently realizes the same. "Hold him down," he tells his lackeys and two of them grab his arms, effectively pinning him. He feels so vulnerable in this position, helpless.  It would be so easy to Bradford to do whatever he wants to him like this and what if he has realized... "Now we're gonna shut that pretty mouth."

He is almost glad when Bradford pulls back his fist for a physical blow, and stares back at him defiantly, his pride can survive that, but he is still relieved when Caleb turns up seconds later and stops him. With Bradford down from Caleb's punch, his friends are easily routed and by the time Lee's pet gets to his feet it is clear he has no interest in a fair fight. Of course Bradford, like Ben, could get in trouble for brawling like a common soldier but when has that stopped either of them before?

When Caleb asks him if he is alright he tries to brush off his concern, though he is still unnerved by how close Bradford came to uncovering him. He almost succeeds, deflecting with self-depreciation and his relationship with Washington, and trust Bradford to have made that feel even more uncertain, but Caleb turns back. He knows him too well, at least Ben hopes it's not just that obvious how shaken he is.

"You know where to find me if you want to talk about it, Tall-boy," Caleb says. "Don't let that bastard get to you."

As always, the nickname is a touchstone reminding him of Caleb's support, and Ben smiles, but he can't forget his threat to leave earlier. Ben knows he can trust him, knows Caleb's first loyalty is to his friends and family but his guilt over his uncle's death is eating him up; he needs to find him something to do.

**

Ben is still dwelling on the argument and his close call with Bradford the next day when he is called to dine at General Washington's table. It doesn't help when Charles bloody Lee starts reading from that same damn pamphlet. Only Ben's familiarity with Washington allows him to detect the older man's irritation and he has to tamp down his own anger; calling out Major Bradford was one thing, challenging General Lee would be quite another. Bradford's calculating gaze across the table is not helping him keep his temper.

Fortunately rescue comes from an unexpected quarter with the arrival of General Arnold, tall, dark and dashing, and quick to join in the debate. The Hero of Saratoga seems to tower over Lee, who shrinks in on himself on being challenged and looks every day of his age. Washington himself seems to look fondly on Arnold as, though his mouth twitches, he doesn't call the man out for his bad language. Ben can't seem to tear his eyes away from the other man; he had heard Arnold had taken a serious wound to his leg but other than the cane in his hand he shows no sign of being bothered by it.

As he speaks passionately, General Arnold's gaze wanders swiftly around the table. Was it Ben's imagination that it lingered on him longer than the others? Even if he did, surely he was only wondering who the officer was who has the good fortune to be seated at Washington's left hand side? Still Ben feels his heart beginning to race. Arnold is a smart man, whatever he may say about being merely an apothecary's apprentice he is clearly a brilliant tactitian, what if he had seen something out of place? It takes all his effort not to check his appearance or adjust his clothing in any way.

Instead he watches Arnold - sees how he leans on his cane more with every moment, how his weight shifts as if to move then back again as he is presumably reminded of his injury. Why aren't the servants getting the General a seat? Has no-one else noticed his discomfort? Ben quickly realizes Arnold's performance has fooled them into thinking him better recovered than he truly is. As Arnold's argument builds up to some concluding point in his litany of praise to Washington, their commander himself even seems moved by the support. "An endorsement by the God of heaven and earth if there ever was one."

The preacher's son in Ben recoils at the edge of blasphemy in that statement but he fears if Arnold isn't interrupted now he will turn to another line of argument and still no-one has offered him a chair. "Hear, hear!" he calls out, banging a fist on the table and the other officers follow suit, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, Bradford and Lee in particular.

If he was bothered by the interruption Arnold didn't show it, looking pleased at the support if anything. Washington however looks embarrassed at the attention and quickly takes the opportunity to introduce Arnold to their French ally.

When Theveneau de Francy asks if the General will be joining them and Arnold looks around for a spare seat, Ben rises as quickly as he dares, offering his own chair to the General, letting the others think it is the prestigious place next to Washington that he is offering.  Bradford's glare intensifies, perhaps recognising the tactical disadvantage Lee is at with Arnold obviously at Washington's side.

Ben is still holding his napkin as he stands to the side, allowing it to hang across his body; he feels he somehow needs the extra protection from Arnold's piercing gaze. And Ben is forced to meet that gaze for a brief moment as it is entirely focused on him. "It is an honour, sir," he tells him, and means it, whatever else may have been behind his offer. He still feels like Arnold is looking right through him.

"Do you still have an appetite?" Washington asks Arnold, a gentleness in his tone such as Ben has never heard before and draws the General's attention away.

"Always," Arnold answers and, if Ben feels like the man's gaze lingered on him as he turns to arrange for a servant to get another chair and place setting, then it is surely only his imagination.

**

Whether due to the aftermath of the fight or the scene at dinner, Ben's dreams that night are haunted by memories. But not of the events as they happened; instead his mind twists friend and foe together and replays the scene for him.

Captain Simcoe, blood splattered across his face, pinning him down as Bradford had, only his intent is clear, his words a mix of the threats he had made Ben and those Anna had repeated.

Robert Rogers directs his intense gaze at him across a dinner table, "There is no place on this continent that you can hide from me."

Bradford stalking him and Samuel, why Samuel, it had been Selah and Caleb with him, through a dark forest, taunting him about his relationship with Washington.

Arnold on the floor of a cell, his proud face twisting in pain as a surgeon works on his leg, glaring up at Ben defiantly.

A Redcoat with a gun to Washington's head.

He wakes suddenly, sitting bolt upright, shaking. It is the middle of the night and so he bites his lip and tries to regulate his breathing, not wanting to wake Caleb but he should have known better, the other man has always been a light sleeper.

"You alright, Benny-boy?"

Ben shakes his head to clear it. The nightmare is already fading but he retains flashes. Did it mean anything? Simcoe as Bradford is no surprise, the implicit threat made clearer, and Washington in his father's place is down to Bradford's taunt but Arnold in the place of Simcoe when they had him prisoner and Rogers in his place of Arnold? Their gazes had the same penetrating quality but the circumstances were hardly the same. And Caleb is still waiting for an answer. "I had a bad dream, that's all," he says. "Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep."

There is silence for a moment but Ben knows better than to think Caleb is done. "You ready to tell me what that was about the other day?"

No, he's not, but Caleb isn't going to drop it, especially now he's as good as admitted something's wrong. "I think Bradford suspects something," he says, caution kerbing his words even now; they might be alone in their tent but canvas was hardly soundproof. No need to mention Arnold; he had given him no reason for suspicion, it was just his paranoia reading too much into a few glances.

Even in the dark, Ben can feel Caleb staring at him, weighing his words. "I knew I shoulda killed the bastard," he says. "I'm not gonna let him hurt you."

"I don't think he knows , he would have used it by now. But I let something he said get to me and I doubt he'll let it go."

"Not your fault, Tall-boy." Caleb has settled down again. "I'll watch him, don't you worry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Given the S2.01 refers to the loss of the Philadelphia, it ought to be after Sep 26, 1777, which means it should also be after the first Battle of Saratoga (Sep 19) despite Benedict Arnold's (apparently uninjured) appearance. It could be technically be between the two Saratoga battles (before Oct 7) but it would be a tight turnaround and we would also then have to imagine the scenes in England happening considerably later, rather than in parallel, as the average journey from New York to London was a month (and even the fastest ship would have taken two to three weeks) to travel with the news and that would have implications on the later scenes with Rogers and Caleb. For the purposes of my story, I am assuming the episode takes place in late October 1777 (after Burgoyne's surrender at Saratoga on Oct 17) and therefore in this fic Arnold already has his signature walking stick - he's just got too much pride to let anyone see how badly he's hurting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics denote flashbacks/memories

Ben makes his way across their camp to General Arnold's tent. He is determined to see this plan through, even in Caleb's absence. He needs a way to insert the false letter to Lee in amongst the general mail if it is to be believable that it came from Gates and Arnold is the obvious choice since he is supposedly bedbound following the operation on his wounded leg and his letters will certainly be collected by courier. Even so, he feels slightly guilty for taking advantage of his genuine desire to speak with the man to use him like this.

He nervously pushes the tent flaps aside, finding Arnold unattended. While part of him is relieved as it will make it easier to carry out his plan, another part is uncertain about actually being alone with the man. Something about the way he had looked at him, the stories he has heard of the draw of Arnold's charisma, and he can't deny he's an attractive man, in the prime of his life, challenging even Washington in height.

He is not sure what he expected, despite Arnold's performance at the dinner, but it certainly wasn't to find him drafting a resignation letter. After the victory he has just won them and his subsequent promotion, surely he has no reason to resign? Even seeing Arnold in this state of undress, with his bandaged leg, he is not diminished. Why then would he quit the army, unless perhaps the surgeon's have told him he will not recover, which would truly be a tragedy.

Ben is annoyed to find himself flattered when Arnold remembers him from the dinner on the night of his arrival, though somewhat disquieted. Fortunately it seems that he is only recognized for giving up his place, which relieves his misgivings slightly. As planned to explain his visit, he makes his apology for the diversion of his troops to Setauket, though he doesn't suppose their presence would have made any difference to the outcome given Gates' attitude, but is surprised by Arnold's response. 

He had feared the General's anger or even scorn but rather than simply accepting his apology, Arnold questions, "And who did you rescue?""

_Returning to Setauket has always been rough, even more so after his mother had passed away while he was at Yale, and now he faces losing his father so close on the heels on the news about Samuel. He has never been as close to his father as Samuel was, but they are now all the other has left, and it is still hard to accept his brother is dead, even with Selah Strong's presence reminding him of the British attempt at deception and their close call with Robert Rogers. Ben shudders at the memory and swears he would kill himself rather than let himself fall into the Ranger's hands._

_He pulls his thoughts back on track - he cannot dwell on that fear, not now. As soon as Walter had told them the news about his father he had known he had to do this; he didn't want him killed but he wanted him in the hands of the British even less; Captain Simcoe already had reason to hate him. Not only could one word to the wrong person ruin Ben and everything he'd worked for but he will not allow his father to be used as a weapon against him, and it seems he is making enemies of the British fast._

"My father, sir," he says and explains what the British had planned.

He is shocked when Arnold says he would not have done the same, until he added, "But then again, my father was not worth saving." He remembers how the General had refered to his father as a drunkard at the officers' dinner and takes a moment to be grateful for his father, who had only ever been proud of him, even when he hadn't been the child he was expecting. What would he have done without his trust and acceptance?

_  
"Let me look at you." His father steps back and Ben turns to face him fully._

_Under his father's gaze he is always so conscious of his body and how it fails to conform to his outward presentation. Of all the people who know about him, it is the Reverend Tallmadge whose approval, or lack thereof, concerns him most so he tries to hold his head up high and face his judgement._

_His father smiles, evidently finding no fault with his appearance. Still, with Samuel dead, Ben is now his only son and there is a lump in his throat at the thought of how inadequate he is to that role. He has always held up his brother as an example and now he waits for the comparison._

_Instead, his father embraces him. "I'm proud of the man you've grown into, Ben."_

A servant brings in Arnold's dinner and as Ben sees the man flinch in pain, he is reminded of his dream and discomforted again. As he turns to his meal, Ben drops his letter into the correspondence pile, intending to leave before the General questions him further. He is momentarily apprehensive when Arnold says he is not dismissed: fearing he had just see his trick with the letter, or perhaps he will now bring up what Ben has suspected since they first met, that he had noticed something off about his appearance? Dare he lie to the man's face if he questions him directly?

Instead Arnold surprises him by saying, "I knew your brother Samuel. He fought for me at Valcour Island. It pained me to hear of his death. He was a fine soldier."

_  
Looking at the shell of his friend, Ben still wants to curse Rogers for giving him false hope of Samuel's survival but he knows it would have been equally terrible to see his beloved elder brother in this state. It is clear Selah doesn't want to speak of his time on the Jersey, is in fact struggling to speak at all, and Ben feels bad for pushing him, but he has to understand how it came to this. Either he or Rogers will die here tonight and he needs to know what Samuel went through._

_It is slow going but Selah tells them how Samuel never gave up praying, convinced him to keep fighting, keep faith. Selah had not been sent to the Jersey much after Samuel. A selfish part of Ben wishes it was Selah who had died, despite the pain it would cause Anna since at least his parents were already gone. Would the British write to his father to break the news? Had they already? Ben couldn't write openly and asking Abe or Anna to pass it on would draw questions about where they had got the information._

_As an officer, Ben gets cleaner conditions than the enlisted men, but he has seen men suffering dysentery, has smelt the stench of effluent and unwashed bodies in the hospital tents. It hurts to think of Samuel suffering like that, who was never without a smile, or a kind word. He wants to question Selah further, shake every bit of information he can out of their friend. When did Sam die? Was it quick? Did he know it was coming? What had he said? Even Samuel's endless faith and hope surely couldn't have held out in the face of such a miserable fate._

Now Samuel's death isn't the sharp pain it was when he first found out about Roger's deception, when Selah told him how he'd died, nor it is the raw ache when he'd told Abe and Anna how the Jersey was indeed a death sentence but it still hurts to think of it. Samuel had deserved better. But he is grateful that his brother made a impact upon someone as great as Benedict Arnold and that Arnold would share that memory with his kin. "It means a great deal to me that you remember him," he says and Arnold smiles for the first time.

"I never forget valor," he says. There is something about the way he is looking at Ben, is he wondering how much he resembles Samuel in this or is he thinking of something else. "There is so little of it in this world." His gaze, when it meets Ben's, is challenging and he struggles to maintain the appearance of being at ease.

Is it wrong of him to send the disguised letter to Lee? Sackett had called it treason and now Arnold's words shame him. He has to remind himself how Lee was responsible for the deaths of his Dragoons at the hands of Rogers' Rangers, how close his father came to losing the last of his children and he uses that anger to sustain him. He wouldn't let Rogers win and he _will_ have his proof that Lee is a traitor.

Then courier arrives and it is too late to take the letter back, but at least Ben has seen it accepted without question. Now he just has to wait.

After Arnold tells him he won't accept his apology for doing the right thing, Ben feels even more guilty about using him for this and about the plan in general but he uses Arnold's own words to assure himself of its necessity. "We do what is right and we live with the consequences." Well, hasn't he always done that? He thinks of the rumors that Arnold had defied Gates' orders at Saratoga and feels a sense of kinship with him.

He takes his leave and slips out of the tent, surprised to find his hands are shaking as though he'd just had a close call in battle rather than a polite conversation. He wishes Caleb were here, but doesn't know how he could start to explain.

As he has so many nights recently, Ben dreams vividly, his mind taking him back to the debacle that their Setauket raid had turned out to be. 

_  
He had hoped it would be easy, hadn't counted on the Blaines' early morning fishing trip. Now an innocent man was dead and the British garrison would be expecting them. He hadn't wanted this to turn into a prolonged siege but now the British were holed up in the church and he felt a surge of anger. How dare they do this to his father's church? He holds up the spyglass, thinking he was prepared to see the gravestones Abe had reported had been used to secure the British cannon._

_Still, it was one thing to know and another to see them with his own eyes and then he reads the actual names and it's like being punched in the gut. He can't breath and his hands are shaking too much to hold the glass steady. Somehow he manages to pass it to Caleb without dropping it. "He wasn't lying, they've ripped out the gravestones," he gets out, amazed at how calm he sounds. There are black spots at the edge of his vision but he knows he cannot show weakness here - not in front of his troops, not in front of the British. He locks his knees and forces himself to take deep steadying breaths. Caleb is talking but it is just noise right now, he cannot take it in._

_How had _that_ gravestone been chosen? He thought Abe had said the townsfolk had made the choice; had his father picked it deliberately? Poor little Benjamin's grave now lay unmarked and the gravestone reading "Elizabeth Tallmadge - Beloved Daughter - 1753-1760" taunts him. He grits his teeth, it's not his name anymore, not him. His father is showing his disdain for the British in the only way he can and right now he needs his son to act._

_Ben pulls himself together, gives orders. Caleb stays at his side. They gather the townsfolk and their captured soldiers in the inn but he remains on edge; they cannot speak freely here. How many of the men and women packed into the room are actually Patriots, just afraid for their lives, how many of them are true Tories, seeing this raid as the sort of thing the British are supposed to protect them against? Unsurprisingly it is Abe and Anna who speak up against him, they need to keep their cover and at the same time, everyone here, excepting maybe the British soldiers, know how close they used to be. Caleb plays his usual role, barely controlled violence with only Ben keeping him in check. He can still see the soldiers falling for it._

_Despite Abe all but volunteering to carry their demands, when they manage to get him away to talk in private, he is angry at them, at their presence, at not telling them of Selah's survival. Ben tries to stay calm but the thought of his father in the hell of the Jersey breaks his composure. Abe has the decency to look chastened when he hears of Samuel's death and he reluctantly agrees to approach the church under flag of truce, though he says he is done with spying. Ben cannot worry about that until his father is safe._

_When Captain Simcoe bursts out of the church, a gun to Lucas Brewster's head, Ben thinks for a moment that Abe has betrayed them. But he sees the light of madness in Simcoe's eyes as he pulls the trigger, as he stands there laughing, blood splattered. It is all Ben can do to hold Caleb back and it is only the threat of the British rifles that stops him letting him finish what they had started before Scott interfered._

_Ben is preparing to have to give the order to attack when Major Hewlett apparently has a crisis of conscience and the rest of the hostages are swiftly returned unharmed. Ben's joy at seeing his father safe is overshadowed by his guilt at Caleb's grief. He orders his men back to their boats, uses their captured British soldiers to shield their retreat, keeps his expression blank as Abe squares up to him. It is risky speaking in the open like this, but let any observers think Abe is angry with him. Still, it is a challenge not to show his relief when Abe confirms he will carry on spying for them._

_The British reinforcements arrive before they are cleanly away and Ben is afraid it will all be for nothing when Anna, clever, brave Anna, decides to jump from the boat, swim back to shore. They won't risk shooting an unarmed woman, especially one they believe to be a Tory, escaping her treacherous husband, what a story that will make. Then they are clear, and he watches the familiar shore receding away from him._

When Ben wakes, he is alone and Caleb's absence is like a physical blow. No familiar snore, the reassuring sound of another human breath. He would even take the gentle mocking of his inability to sleep through the night, which he knows is his friend's way of showing how much he cares. Let him be well, he prays, curling in on himself on his cot, bring him home safely. But as he drifts back to sleep it is not Caleb's face that crosses his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have at least another half a dozen chapters of this story and a bunch more written in this verse in no particular chronological order. I have already started the next chapter, but still can't make any promises about frequency of updates.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben hadn't wanted to return to Setauket again, much less only do so three months after the last visit, but with Caleb off on Sackett's special mission he had no choice, it had to be him who delivered the boat and the new ink. It wouldn't have been so bad if he could have simply left them in the dead drop but they require explanation.

He is mindful of Nathan's fate as he sleeps rough in the woods, only allowing himself brief naps, the bare minimum rest he can survive on. There is no chance the British here will not recognize him and being caught behind enemy lines in civilian clothes is almost a guarantee of a death sentence. 

Though part of him is glad though to have an excuse to be away from their camp while he is still angry at Washington, the two, three days on high alert are taking their toll and if Abe doesn't arrive soon he will have to leave his parcel in the drop and hope for the best. He keeps turning Washington's parting words over in his mind. "I am not your father and you are not my son," had stung, especially when he has heard him calling his aides 'son' with seeming casualness. At worse, he fears it means Sackett has revealed his situation to Washington, that the comment was meant as a warning that he is being held to a higher standard.

He cannot deny the truth in the General's accusation that he was not thinking of the bigger picture around his deception with Lee but an alliance with France will do them no good if Washington is forced out and it is Gates, or even Lee himself, leading their forces. By the time Abe finally shows up, Ben is cold and tired and has to struggle to keep his tone light, especially when it takes some effort to persuade the other man to arrange a meeting with Anna too.

Reluctantly Abe eventually agrees to hold the meeting in his old root cellar and tells Ben stay there while he fetches Anna. They cannot risk being seen together, so Ben makes his own way there; it is only a short dash from the edge of the woods and there is no-one working Abe's fields at this time of year. When he slips inside he finds himself amazed at how it has been transformed.

What Ben needs right now is a real nights' undisturbed sleep but in the safety of the cellar he manages to at least doze until Abe returns. Feeling less anxious, he is able to put him at ease and they talk about Abe's latest information, though he seems cagey about his time in New York. Ben puts it down to nerves at the close call, which gets him onto the subject that brought him here. "Look, I know, the codebook, the egg, they're not safe," he says. "But this, this is." He demonstrates the invisible inks and Abe is duly impressed as he explains how it works.

There is a sound from the doorway and Ben exchanges a glance with Abe. He presumes it is Anna, but he's not prepared to risk his life on that assumption, and if it isn't then he will do what he must to protect their operation. Then she calls out and he has an idea; Abe meets his eye and nods, he'll play along and Ben quickly slips out of sight. From his vantage point he gets to see the surprise on Anna's face when she sees what Abe has done to his cellar and at least he now knows they aren't using this place for whatever trysts they've been having.

He pushes away the small spark of jealousy that thought brings and instead takes advantage of Anna's distraction to grab her round the waist from behind. She shrieks, which he should have predicted, but still they are far away from the rest of the town, no-one will overhear them here. He laughs as she returns the embrace, feeling truly at ease for the first time in a long while. It is good to be around friends without having to watch his words.

He shows her the boat for Abigail, with its hidden instructions, and is disappointed that she doubts her willingness to help. He is certain Abigail is a true Patriot and confident she will be prepared to provide them more information if only they can find a safe way for her to pass it along. Her position in Major Andre's household could be vital to their cause and Washington needs eyes and ears in Philadelphia as much as New York. Still, he supposes he can understand her doubt, he has never told Anna why he is so inclined to trust her former maid, that Abigail has known about him for years and never told.

There is something in Abe's tone when he suggests Anna ask Major Hewlett to pass the boat along but at the same instant he notices the invisible ink has changed and the moment passes. Then he soon has more concerns; what are they not telling him about why Abe can't remain in the city? Abe's original plan to gain a legal apprenticeship was sound, why should it have fallen through? He is torn when Abe explains about his new friend, Townsend, he could prove an even better source of information, if Abe is right in believing he can be persuaded, but at the same time a potential contact is hardly the report he needs to take back.

Anna gives him a concerned look when he explains about Washington's disappointment and why he needs their support. She says nothing for the moment but he knows better than to think she'll drop the matter. Abe seems to share her concern, assuring Ben he has it in hand so he promises he trusts him and doesn't push further.

They wrap up the discussion soon after that; it is getting late and his friends need to avoid suspicion about their whereabouts. Abe had clearly expected Anna to head off first and is reluctant to leave the two of them alone, which lends more support to Ben's suspicion he is hiding something and that Anna knows. 

She frowns at him. "Not everything's about you," she snaps and Abe flinches as though he'd been struck. 

Ben takes a breath, preparing to defuse the situation, when Abe suddenly flushes and shakes his head. "Look, I don't want to know," he says, hurrying up the steps without another word.

He wants to protest but when he glances to Anna she has turned away, so he contents himself with saying, “Be careful, Abe.”

He pauses at the top of the stairs, then looks back over his shoulder. “You too, Ben.”

Once Abe has left, Anna settles down on the packed earth floor and pats the ground next to here. "Come here and tell me all about it."

"It's nothing," he says, but he sits anyway.

"That's an odd name."

He laughs. "I can never hide anything from you, can I?" In truth, he has longed for someone to talk to about it all.

Anna puts an arm round his shoulder and he finds himself telling her all about Washington and trying to live up to his expectations, about his fight with Bradford and the man's veiled threats, even about Arnold and his dangerous fascination.

As always, she is able to reassure him, though she doesn't let the opportunity slide to complain again about them letting Simcoe go. Ben doesn't tell her about his dream but he thinks he understands better how she feels. Still, at least Simcoe is far away from her now.

The journey back is easier and Ben feels lighter. Until one of his Lieutenants tells him how Arnold had sent for him three days ago and then the nerves begin again. What reason would General Arnold have to want to see him?

He turns it over as he bathes and changes back into his uniform. The information he has for Washington isn't urgent, and whatever Abe thinks, he doubts their Commander will be impressed until Townsend has actually been recruited. Arnold, on the other hand, is an enigma, his request could be good or bad, though his continued presence, despite his earlier resignation letter, is probably good.

Decision made he heads, not to Washington but to Arnold, though if he had expected a warmer welcome there, he was to be disappointed. Arnold's tone and language make it clear that he is not impressed.

Ben is taken aback but, making allowance for Arnold's state of health, explains he had been on a special assignment for Washington. He thought that would be sufficient but Arnold demands more details, sounding almost angry. He struggles to stand his ground, his words coming out softer than he would have liked but even if it means Arnold seeing how he affects him, he cannot share the details with him. He has promised Abe he will not.

He is surprised how much it hurts to hear Arnold says "I thought I could trust you, Major." He doesn't know why but he wants Arnold's approval, more than that, he wants to be worthy of his trust. When Arnold tells him he was going to offer him the post of his aide-de-camp, Ben is determined to prove his value.

He is less certain what Arnold wants when he calls him closer. His heart is racing and when Arnold grabs him by the back of the neck, it takes every ounce of his composure not to cry out. His panic must show on his face as Arnold's grip eases up slightly, though not enough for him to get away, as he insists Ben helps him to his feet.

The other man is heavy, broader and taller than Ben, and he struggles to keep his balance as Arnold pulls himself upright against him. Their foreheads are touching and Ben can feel the chill of his sweat. Even as part of him focuses on staying his feet, helping Arnold to stand, another part of him is cold with fear. He is so conscious of the closeness of his body, the heat of him, his breath. And as much as he fears his strength, his body thrills at the contact. There is only an inch or two between them and it would be so easy to close that distance. Ben has to force himself to focus on Arnold's words, rather than his pounding heart.

Once Arnold is on his feet, Ben tries to step back but he can't break Arnold's grip, has to take him by the arm to steady them both. He tries to reassure the General that Washington will not have taken his hasty words to heart, but in truth he wishes he could get the same reassurance. Washington is often close to impossible to read, his reputation of being implacable well-earned. Ben cannot help but compare Arnold's intensity with Washington's cool inscrutability. Arnold's temper runs hot as Ben's own often does and he can well imagine how their commander could have provoked the other general to strong words.

He struggles to find the right words with Arnold's hand still at the back of his head, distracting, fingers tangled in his braid. If he moves he will upset the balance between them but he can't help the way his body is responding. Arnold speaks of the enemies within their own camp, gives him further reason to feel a sense of kinship with him. Ben understand that Lee and the others are snakes in the grass and he cannot hide his feelings when he assures Arnold he knows. The look Arnold gives him is almost approving and he finally moves his hand, slapping him on the shoulder, and leans back putting desperately needed space between them. Ben is able to breath again, until Arnold instead puts his hand on his cheek. He dare not move away and cannot seem to stop himself shaking.

He is strangely flattered when Arnold calls him sharp, though he feels a pang of concern at him calling him a Yale man. Who else in the camp even knows that, other than Sackett, and Washington himself, and why would Arnold be talking to them about him? Still, he can appreciate the wish for a connection between them. Arnold makes him feel like they have a lot in common, despite the disparity in their age and ranks. Then he talks about his apprenticeship as an apothecary and Ben again wonders if he suspects something; is he making a point that he has been trained to observe such things. But instead he speaks of his own injury, his own weakness, as he stumbles.

Arnold doesn't let go of his arms when he lowers himself back to the bed, forcing Ben down to his knees before him. He is utterly vulnerable to him, worse than being under Bradford, since part of him thrills at Arnold's attention. He would feel pity as Arnold speaks of his weakness but there is little space for that past his own fear. The only thing staving off actual panic is the wide open front of the tent. Surely Arnold will not risk anything in front of anyone passing by?

He can felt the tension between them but it seems Arnold does not. Indeed he is still talking about Washington, the danger their commander does not see. Despite the precariousness of his position, Ben thrills when Arnold uses 'us' to talk about the two of them protecting Washington, that he is needed, and offers up his assistance without pause.

They agree that for now he will simply watch out for Lee and Gates and report back to Arnold. Nothing more is said for now of Arnold's offer of the aide-de-camp role and Ben walks away feeling conflicted. He is still stunned that Arnold, who has met him twice, knows him only from his brother and whatever he has heard around camp, would trust him enough to ask him to fill that position. Of course, with Arnold out of commission and off the battlefield for the time being it is hardly as prestigious as some. Then again, Washington has half a dozen aides at any one time, most of them acting as secretaries for his vast correspondence. No matter what time of day or night Ben has been called to Washington's side at least one of them is always there, usually Hamilton.

At the same time, Arnold still leaves him feeling unnerved, his physical presence, that piercing gaze, both combined to put him off balance in more ways than one. Ben is uncertain if he was meant to take Arnold's words as implying knowledge of his situation or if he is reading too much into it. Of course, Arnold may think he is being reassuring, Scott had often turned a blind eye to any irregularities that would force him to dismiss an otherwise exemplary soldier and perhaps Arnold takes the same view.

It's no challenge to watch out for Gates and Lee, if he's honest he would have been doing it anyway, though it is sometimes hard to listen to what they have to say without interfering. Still, there is some relief in knowing he is not the only one paying attention to the danger they represent, even if it's Arnold not Washington. 

The two malcontents have been somewhat subdued by the victory of Washington's young protege, the Marquis de Lafayette, at Gloucester, but it doesn't silence them for long. Worse, Ben hears them calling out Arnold in public and Washington doesn't speak a word in his defense, in sharp contrast to Arnold's own manner. Lee and Gates are hardly supportive of Washington's desire to show a united front to the French and, like a dog, Bradford follows where his master leads. Somehow he has learned of Ben's association with Arnold and he seems to take pleasure in repeating the worst of Lee's insults whenever Ben is within earshot.

He grits his teeth and hopes for evidence from Abigail of Lee's treachery. Meanwhile, he is working up the courage to face Arnold again with news of what he has heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Historical timeline vs AMC: The reference in S2.02 to it being 3 weeks past the Margaretta's arrival from England (assuming it left in the week commencing Oct 20 and took a realistic six weeks) would make it at least Dec 15, 1777. Allowing time for Ben to travel to Setauket for S2.03, the weekend he is there would have been Sat 20 to Mon 22, at the earliest and Christmas and New Year are coming up fast. However, as S2.05 is specifically said to be before the New Year, I am shifting things back some to make it fit more easily. Clearly allowing for a realistic travel time between the UK and the US is too much to ask for. Instead, the Monday Ben is in Setauket will be Nov 24, 1777.
> 
> 2) I've managed weekly updates so far and there is a reasonable chance of this continuing for at least the next couple of chapters, though I make no promises. I currently have outlined up to chapter 12, to take me to the end of S2 - whether I manage to stick to that or not is another matter.


	4. Chapter 4

A week passes before Ben manages to bring himself to visit Arnold. When he enters the tent he finds the other man on his feet, though he doesn't look entirely steady, supporting himself by leaning on his sword. The general does look better, now he's at least dressed in his uniform coat but it hangs loose on him as though he has lost some weight in his recovery. Then again, with half the army is going hungry even the officers are feeling the pinch.

Arnold looks glad to see him, and Ben wonders guiltily if he is one of his few visitors. He waves a letter at him, reads aloud about how its author recalls his "gentlemanly mien and abounding vigor." He is unsurprised that Arnold should have left such an impression though something about it makes him feel uneasy, a young lady from British occupied Philadelphia writing to an officer of the Continental Army, but he pushes the feeling aside.

Indeed, Arnold quickly turns to questioning him on Gates and Lee. It is wrong of him to be glad to have his full attention, the letter forgotten in his hand, but nevertheless he is. Of course that now means he is obliged to share everything he has heard them say, not just about Washington. Ben steps closer, not wanting to be overheard. He hates having to repeat their spiteful words, tries to let his tone show how false he finds them.

He is not surprised Arnold seems more hurt by Washington's having heard the remarks and his lack of response, than by Lee and Gates having said them. Washington is known as a man of integrity and, though he may see his actions as avoiding conflict, others will take his silence as tacit agreement.

Arnold stumbles but this time he refuses Ben's offer of assistance and sits on the edge of his cot. He closes off and, even knowing that the appropriate response as a junior officer would be to leave, Ben cannot help himself reaching out, at least verbally. "Sir, has the position of your aide-de-camp been filled?" He is unaccountably nervous over Arnold's answer.

He should have expected to be questioned on the work he is doing for Washington but the emphasis Arnold puts on "special assignment" leaves him feeling somewhat uncomfortable. What exactly does Arnold think he is doing for Washington? Surely he would pay no attention to the sort of rumors people like Bradford have been spreading? Still, for all Washington calls him his chief of intelligence, it is not a formal position and as he cannot share any details he is forced to prevaricate. It is no surprise that Arnold seems unconvinced, cannot see where the honor lies in it.

Hearing "Benjamin" from Arnold's lips is almost enough to take the sting out of his next phrase, and though "deskbound clerk" is hardly a flattering description of his role, he would accept it were it not for the words that follow. "If you wish to serve at my side, then you must give that up." Of course, Arnold cannot realize what he is asking but his expression is uncompromising.

Ben is able to keep his composure long enough to tell Arnold he will have to think about his decision, trying not to openly baulk at the ultimatum, and hoping his voice doesn't break and betray him. He wants to protest but for that he needs time to regroup and prepare his case.

It is late and he cannot use the excuse of reporting to Washington or seeing if Sackett has more work to distract him. He heads in the direction of his tent since he is in no condition to face anyone who might ask questions and can only pray he won't run into Bradford as in this state that would not end well. Arnold's offer has shaken him, not because he is upset at him for making it but because he finds himself genuinely considering it.

He wants Caleb; his oldest friend always knows the right thing to say to calm him, to get him thinking about his problems from a different angle, but he is still away on business for Sackett in New Jersey. The only thing worse than missing him, is not knowing how he's getting on, if he's safe. Caleb can take care of himself but this war has taken so many people from him.

Since Caleb can't help him, Ben heads instead to his second choice of confidante. Pol Fletcher is officially just one of several officers in his Dragoons but they function as his second in command when his duties for Washington keep him out of the field. Scott had given him considerable leeway in picking the officers for his reformed Dragoons and he had liked Pol the instant he had met them. It was well-known that there were women serving in their forces and, though many officers turned a blind eye and Ben saw no reason not to do the same, it was much harder for them to advance. Even though Pol had been wearing an ensign's epaulettes, he had assumed they were one such woman, and to be fair, they had probably assumed the same of him. It had been awkward at first but they had soon realized how much they had in common. 

Pol understands the value of discretion, has never questioned Ben on the details of his duties for Washington nor even what Caleb's actual job is. Now they take one look at his face as he approaches the camp fire and make their excuses to the rest of the men, then lead him out away from the tents where their conversation will not be overheard.

"You look like you just heard it was Brewster's turn to cook."

Even though he misses Caleb, Ben can't help but laugh. Pol and Caleb have an ongoing challenge as to who can bring back the most interesting ingredient from their scouting trips but Caleb hasn't been allowed to cook since the incident where he mistook chili powder for cinnamon. Caleb had found it hilarious and Ben wouldn't have put it past him to have done it on purpose.

"Seriously though," Pol asks, once they are clear of the camp. "What's that jackass Bradford done this time?"

"Not him," Ben says, throat tight. He didn't want to have to think about Bradford. "Arnold." 

"Really?" Pol raises an eyebrow. "I thought you liked him. What did he say that's got your knickers in a twist?"

Ben tries not to flinch. Pol means well but doesn't have Caleb's knack for softening their bluntness. Still, he needs to tell someone. "He asked me to be his aide-de-camp."

"Is that a good thing?" Pol scrunches up their face in distaste. "I always thought it was just a fancy title for being some nob's lackey?"

It didn't sound like such a good deal when described like that but Ben keeps thinking of Washington's many aides-de-camp. They might have to work hard and at all hours but Washington cared for them and he wanted that feeling, of belonging. "I told him I would do it. But he wants me to give up my work for Washington."

"What?"

He isn't sure if Pol is shocked by Arnold's demand or that he would have accepted in the first place. Still, there's only one part of it he's prepared to discuss. "He said I couldn't be a soldier and a spy and, if I wanted to serve at his side, I would have to give it up."

"What an ass," Pol scoffs, then takes another look at his expression. "You're actually thinking about it, aren't you?"

"Maybe," he admits. There is something about Arnold that draws him in, even though he knows how dangerous it would be to get too close.

"What do you think Washington's going to have to say about it?"

Dammit, Washington. Ben had barely considered his reaction. Surely he would never allow Ben to give up managing Culper but...

"You hadn't even thought of it, had you?" Pol shakes their head despairing. "You have it really bad, Boss." 

Ben flushes. "I don't... It's not like that."

"Really?"

He wants to deny it, claim that what he feels is admiration for Arnold's military skill, for his determination, but he knows better than to lie to himself. "Well, maybe it is."

Pol nods, looking thoughtful. "I don't much about Arnold. Heard he was kind of unnerving. You sure you can handle that?"

Ben thinks of Arnold's intensity turned fully on him and shudders at the memory. "You're right, it was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have even considered it."

"I'm not playing that game with you." He looks back at them confused. Pol stands with their arms crossed over their chest. "Don't give me that look, I'm not Brewster and you're not going to get me to make your arguments for you."

"I wasn't trying to get you to," Ben protests but he has to admit there is some truth in it. He has always known how to persuade Caleb, though it hasn't been working so well of late.

"Maybe not deliberately, but I've watched you get him to talk himself round to your way of thinking too many times. That how you won all your debates at Yale too?" 

"Sometimes." Thinking of Yale makes him think of Nathan. Spying for Washington had got one friend killed, and another was risking his life as they spoke. Was Arnold right to say you couldn't be a soldier and a spy? Nathan had been a bad spy, he'd always been terrible at keeping secrets, and Abe would make a terrible soldier, he was too contrary to follow orders, but he walked that line every day. "Winning is what matters, not the method of doing it."

"Think it'll work on Arnold?" Pol's smile is all teeth.

"I have to try."

~

Ben waits until he is assured of privacy for the conversation, slipping into Arnold's tent once the flaps have been drawn down for the evening. The general is sat up on his cot reading and looks up when Ben enters. "You have made your decision?" he asks, a note of something akin to hopefulness in his tone.

Ben takes a deep breath, his throat feels tight but he is determined to make the attempt to justify his work. "If you insist on my making a choice, then I'm sorry, I cannot give up my work for Washington." It is gratifying that Arnold looks disappointed at his answer but he is not finished. "Will you let me explain?"

The frown he gets in response is daunting and his stomach churns but then Arnold nods for him to continue.

He stands up straighter. "I am a soldier," he starts and Arnold gives him an appraising look. Ben forces himself to meet his gaze as he continues, "and I am proud to be a soldier, but we cannot win this war without intelligence."

"Reconnaissance, yes, I can see the value in that."

"Well, I was doing that as a Dragoon even before this assignment." The next part is the hardest, balancing giving Arnold a true answer without revealing too much. "Now I'm looking at a bigger picture and, yes, part of it involves desk work, cultivating sources but that information is vital to us."

Arnold frowns. "Spying is still a dirty job, even if you're not the one doing the hard grind."

Ben shrugs, he has to do his best to stay calm, to let Arnold convince himself. "What's wrong with gathering information from people who happen to be living in New York or Philadelphia, or travelling through? Speaking to traders, women, slaves even? You think the British won't use any weapon against us, dishonorable or not?"

"But where's the glory in that?"

He prays Arnold will forgive him what he says next. "Where's the glory in mouldering in a tent ignored while others take credit for your victory?" Then while Arnold is still off-balance, he follows that with a different question, softens his tone. "What exactly do you think the position of your aide-de-camp would involve?"

The look Arnold gives him says he doesn't see the relevance, but he answers anyway. "I suppose for now assisting with my correspondence, liaising with other officers, making arrangements for my travel and accommodation. Once I'm recovered it would include managing my orders, accompanying me to tactical meetings..."

Ben nods, as though Arnold has made his point for him, and he mostly has. "So, a lot of paperwork? Desk work? Not much opportunity for personal glory there."

He sees the moment where Arnold gets it, but the older man doesn't concede. "No, not when you put it like that, but it is a stepping stone to greater things."

"And I would be honored to fill that role for you but I don't see that it's more valuable in terms of winning this war than managing intelligence for Washington. My own honor will always come second to that goal."

It is clear from Arnold's expression that he doesn't entirely understand, maybe even sees the two goals as mutually inclusive. There is the difference between them; Ben has never looked for glory, never expected to be more than a footnote in history. Part of that is the need not to draw too much attention to himself but, when he dares to think of the future, he sees the opportunities which will arise after the war, not in it. He was raised as a gentleman, a minster's son, and he doesn't feel the need to make a name for himself. If he can play a part in bringing freedom to their country, that is what matters. He has time on his side but he can understand that Arnold may not feel the same way. Instead he pushes. "Why do you want me on your staff?"

"I think you are a promising young man whose talents are being wasted on Washington," Arnold forces himself to his feet, closes the distance between them. "He doesn't appreciate what he has in you." 

His words strike something inside Ben and he had to swallow hard. "I want to be worthy of your trust, sir."

Arnold turns sharply and stumbles grabbing his arm. Ben has to step closer to keep them both upright and once again he feels the tension rise between them. Arnold lifts his free hand to Ben's shoulders, meets his gaze. Ben can't look away; it feels as though all the air has been sucked out of the tent as Arnold pulls him closer and then their lips meet. Ben is too shocked to respond, doesn't even know if he wants to pull away or move closer.

It consumes him, the feel of the other man, the heat of his body. Part of him wants to never let this stop, another part is terrified of the implications, has Arnold been propositioning him all along and he hadn't realized? Pol's questions take on another aspect and he feels foolish for having allowed them to be alone like this.

Arnold seems to notice Ben's discomfort and lets go of him suddenly. "Benjamin..." Ben can't help the shudder which goes through him, it is too much. Arnold looks wracked with guilt as he backs away, putting space between them. "Please forgive me, Major, if I have misread your interest, I did not mean to cause you offense."

"No, sir." He realizes it was the wrong thing to say as he says it; hadn't thought how 'sir' would sound in this context. What is he supposed to call him? "Arnold," even that feels unnatural but he cannot call the general by his first name either so he presses on. "I'm not saying no, I'm just... not now, not like this."

Arnold sounds unsure for the first time in their acquaintance. "You will still take the position?"

"As your aide-de-camp?" He has to be clear. "Even though I will not give up my work for Washington?"

"Yes, yes, I take your point." Arnold sighs and shakes his head. "I want you by my side, you have so much potential. Besides, if nothing else this confirms you would never just obey senseless orders."

Ben smiles, though his heart is racing. "I will have to ask General Washington's permission but it will be a privilege to serve beside you."

For a second time, Ben leaves Arnold's tent shaken but this is different. He doesn't know if he could explain what just happened to Caleb if he tried and Pol won't understand why it's an issue. It is risky. People will talk, but then people like Bradford would regardless. It is only natural to form close friendships in tight circumstances like this and if some of them go beyond the platonic, who does it hurt? Still, this is different, they are officers and are expected to set an example, even if rumor has it some of Washington's aides share more than a room.

Fortunately, distraction is on hand before he has to work out where he is going next. A rider catches him to let him know information has come in from one of Major Clark's couriers. Since his promotion, Washington has increasingly entrusted Ben with handling his existing network and Clark's messages are invariably valuable. 

Ben makes his way to Sackett's tent, finding the older man already opening up the packet. The British have been raising 'Loyalist' troops from around the Philadelphia area to add to their strength and Clark's message warns of a planned assault out of Philadelphia within the week. He starts making arrangements for scouting patrols, the sooner they have an idea of numbers the better, and is still discussing routes when a second report comes in from an unexpected source. Colonel Boudinot of the Commissary had been attempting to secure provisions at a local tavern when he received a note from a local woman with precise numbers of the troops they should expect the following night, even down to the number of cannons. Ben heads straight to Washington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) So, I've seen the trailer for S3 and I can't wait... Don't necessarily expect this story to remain canon compliant though. In fact, from here is the point I start to diverge from series canon. I'm intending to follow S2 most of the way through but events may start to look different.
> 
> 2) Historical notes: I'm setting this chapter (and therefore the second half of S2.04) over Nov 27 (Ben's first  
> conversation with Arnold) and Dec 3 (the second conversation). The forthcoming battle referenced is the Battle of White Marsh (Dec 5-8). Interestingly, Simcoe fought at White Marsh, having indeed recently been given command of the Queen's Rangers, so this is him on his way back to Setauket for the winter.
> 
> Despite what the series implies, Washington actually had an active intelligence division set up in Philadelphia under Major John Clark, was responsible for obtaining information about General Howe's activities. Between September and December 1777 his group of informants and couriers sent 30 detailed reports to Washington that allowed the Continental Army to react to British movements.
> 
> Also historically accurate (if not fully attested), Washington received advance warning about the British attack at  
> White Marsh from Lydia Darrah, a Quaker, whose parlour Andre used for staff meetings. She overheard British officers discussing Howe's plan on Dec 2, and the following day gained permission to crossed the British lines to get flour and instead delivered this information to a Continental Army officer (in some accounts Col. Elias Boudinot, who was at the Rising Sun Tavern, attempting to secure provisions and in others Lt. Craig of the Light Horse).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added a trigger warning for misgendering, though it's quite mild. Other characters react with confusion to discovering a character is trans but they are quickly corrected. If this bothers you, proceed with caution.
> 
> Also, gender dysphoria warning - a scene references a transman experiencing menstruation. Skip the section in italics if this is a problem for you.

It is hardly the decisive victory they could have hoped for but they give the British a bloody nose and send them running back to Philadelphia. Washington uses their advantage to pull back in safety to winter quarters, somewhere west of the Schuylkill. There is unlikely to be any major fighting until spring now.

Washington seems surprised but does not object to Ben serving as Arnold's aide-de-camp, at least so long as it does not interfere with his intelligence work and Ben begins by managing the journey. They head first towards Swede's Ford, it is only about half a dozen miles as the crow flies but the army moves at the speed of their slowest member.

Arnold may be determined to push his recovery, refuses to travel by wagon if he doesn't have but he still can't walk any distance and struggles to mount his horse. His face is drawn with pain before they've even travelled a mile, knuckles white as he grips the reins, even at a gentle walk.

There is an inn only another couple of miles on and though Arnold resists, Ben eventually persuades him to dismount and rest. A brandy restores some of his color but it is clear he will not be able to continue on that day. Ben arranges a room for him over his protests, supports him up the narrow staircase, refuses Arnold's offer to share the bed, forfeiting his night's sleep to sit up on watch, his pistol in his laps; an inn is not secure, Lee's capture had demonstrated that and he will not fail in his duty.

Their second attempt at travelling is better. Arnold still stubbornly insists on riding but at least they know they do not have far to go. Ben tries to distract him with conversation and Arnold talks about teaching his sons to ride. Ben is reminded of their age difference; thirteen years is not so much when he considers that Washington has nearly another decade on Arnold but it is a whole life lived before the war that Ben never had.

While he had been studying at Yale, Arnold had been raising a family. Strange to think how they had lived three years in the same town without ever meeting but their different memories of New Haven pass the time and they reach the main camp with time to rest before joining the soldiers in crossing the river on makeshift wagon bridges. Although the majority of the army pushes onto Gulph Mills in the dark, they are not the only ones to set up camp there by the ford that night and continued their journey in the morning.

They spend six days at Gulph Mills in the end, while scouts are sent out and Valley Forge is decided on as their final destination. A celebration is declared on their last day there, in recognition of the victory at Saratoga. Arnold is publicly feted as a hero and, though Ben can tell it clearly aggravates him to share the praise with Gates, he makes at least a pretense at civility while avoiding the other general where possible.

It takes them the whole of the following day to travel the seven miles onto Valley Forge even on horseback and half the soldiers they pass are limping on bloody feet but the hardship doesn't stop there. It will be too cold to spend the winter under canvas, already there is frost on the ground in the mornings and there will be snow before much longer. Washington orders cabins to be built but they only have the one axe in camp. Meanwhile they are short on clothing, rations and even firewood.

Caleb still hasn't returned from his mission and there is little intelligence work for Ben to do so he rides out with his Dragoons where he can and spends the rest of his time about Arnold but he is starting to find the close quarters difficult.

Arnold hasn't put any pressure on him about his other offer but his eyes follow Ben around, and the weight of his gaze is almost intimidating at times. He needs to tell Arnold about his circumstances before the general notices something and can accuse him of keeping yet more secrets. 

A ride seems the obvious choice; Arnold wants the practice and Ben wants the distance to make a retreat if he reacts badly to his revelation. They end up on a ridge, not quite a mile away, when Ben lets his horse come to a stop. Arnold turns before stopping beside him, within arm's reach. "I presume you had something to discuss that we couldn't talk about in camp?" he asks.

The general looks pale, his leg clearly paining him and Ben feels guilty for insisting on the ride but this is definitely not something he wants anyone to overhear. He hesitates, he hasn't explained this to many people before, most of those who matter already know, and never to someone he has feelings for but Arnold doesn't push him and he is grateful for his patience. "My parents christened me Elizabeth," he says finally, forcing himself to meet Arnold's confused gaze.

"You're... are you telling me you're a woman?" Arnold asks, looking him up and down as though trying to spot what he had missed.

"No!" Ben almost surprises himself with his vehemence so it is no wonder Arnold sits back.

"Then I don't understand what you're saying."

Ben grits his teeth, hands clenched around the horse's reins. "I'm not... You know there are women in the camp disguised as men so they can fight?" 

Arnold nods, opens his mouth to respond but seems to recognize that Ben hasn't finished and stops.

"That's not how it is for me,” Ben says. “I am a man - I've always known that, whatever...," he swallows hard and he gestures vaguely at his body, "whatever other people think when they look at me."

Arnold is frowning but he doesn't look angry nor disgusted which had been Ben's biggest fears. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I'm being honest with you, after... after your offer. I think I owe you that much." If Arnold is going to treat him differently for this he needs to know now while he can still walk away.

He looks thoughtful. "Does Washington know?"

Ben shudders. "No. Or at least, I hope not. He's never said anything." The thought of their commander knowing about him makes his stomach churn, especially when the only person who could have told him was Sackett.

Arnold's lips curl in amusement. "I find it ironic that his spymaster should be keeping such a secret from him."

Ben shrugs. "I made it through three years at Yale. I don't think I'm going to slip up now." Besides, it isn't as though he is pretending to be something he is not.

"So your family know?" Arnold asks, sounding intrigued. Of course, he would pick up on that. "And your father a church man. He supports you in this?"

He bites his lip, trying to decide how much he wants to tell him. Of course, Arnold already knew Samuel and he has talked to him about his father before. "When Samuel was breeched, I remember asking my mother when I would be old enough to be out of skirts like him. She tried to explain that I was... that I wasn't the same as him but I was sure even then that I was." He could only have been five or so but he had just known and, though she had been confused, his father had never shown him any judgement. "We had a younger brother but, there was a summer fever in '60 and, well we buried Elizabeth and I've been Benjamin ever since." 

There is a long silence as Arnold digests what has been said and this time Ben waits, though his hands are shaking. "I am honored you would trust me with your secret," Arnold said eventually. "Even if it's not why I had hoped you were finding us some privacy."

Ben flushes. "I meant it when I said it wasn't a no, but I didn't know how you would react. I don't know how this changes things between us."

"Does it need to?" Arnold asks. "Change things that is. I stand by my offer, both of them."

"I don't want it to. I'm flattered by your interest certainly." Still he needs to make it clear where he draws the line. "I may have avoided such things until now but I know... what happens between soldiers during wartime. I can't offer any more than that, if you're truly still interested."

Arnold raises an eyebrow and Ben realizes he has just essentially confessed to being a virgin. Caleb would have teased him for it and he is glad Arnold is more mature. "Very much so," he says and it makes Ben feel warm.

"We will need to be careful." It went without saying that they would need to be discreet; sodomy was still a hangable offence, but more than that, Ben would not risk his career.

"A certain closeness between a general and his aide-de-camp is expected. Besides, who would question the friendship between two gentlemen?"

That was true, for what it was worth, but it didn't mean there wouldn't be gossip. Ben was fairly certain Washington wasn't intimate with any of his aides-de-camp but certain rumors persisted. "You understand I'm not going to change my mind about who I am whatever may happen between us."

"I'm hardly proposing marriage," Arnold says.

"Good, because that's never going to happen." Ben is adamant on that front. "Don't think that what's between my legs changes things." A court of law might be unwilling to call it sodomy if they were caught but it would still ruin him.

Arnold doesn't looked fazed. "I'm quite interested in exploring what's between your legs..."

Even as the promise in his tone makes Ben shiver, he shakes his head, the thought of that kind of intimacy makes him want to press his thighs together. "We can't... whatever intimacy we share should be the same as between any other men. I cannot risk..." 

A look of confusion crosses Arnold's face but Ben can't bring himself to state it any clearer. A moment later it is clear he realizes the implication and he shrugs. "I have three boys to support already, I'm happy to avoid that particular complication."

Ben shudders at the thought. "Indeed." Still, he wants to make it clear it really isn’t a rejection; reaches across the short distance between them to clasp Arnold's arm. Arnold returns the half-embrace, pulling him closer so they are thigh to thigh. For a moment Ben thinks Arnold is going to kiss him again, and his heart races. 

Instead he feels his breath against his ear as Arnold leans towards him and whispers, “I do look forward to getting to know you better, Benjamin.”

He feels his cheeks heat but Arnold has already pulled back before he can answer and they return to camp in silence. Unfortunately they don't get an opportunity to follow up their conversation as events quickly overtake Ben. A redcoat arrives in camp, claiming to be a deserter with a warning about a spy.

Then Caleb returns and the object he had been sent to retrieve turns out to be an extract from King George's ledger bearing the Royal Seal, meaning they are dragged straight into diplomatic meetings, with no chance to talk in private. Knowing how vital Washington considers the French alliance, Ben doesn't resent the urgency, and he is burning to go after Rogers.

It isn’t to be though. He sends out his Dragoons to scout for the Scotsman or his companions but is prevented from accompanying them by the arrival of the man their alleged deserter had warned them about. Except Bill Shanks seems as genuine as Sutherland, if not more so, and if he is telling the truth then Washington's life is at risk. Ben can well believe that is their goal, looking at the way Lee has been trying to force him out.

Sackett, ever paranoid, suggests they might both be lying though Ben can't imagine what they would hope to achieve by that and Caleb snorts. "Jesus, Sackett. Do you even trust yourself?"

"Not for years," Sackett says, giving Ben a significant look, as if to remind him they all have their secrets.

Ben grits his teeth and ignores it, he knows the other man means well, just doesn't understand. They have to focus on how they can prove Shanks' truthfulness to Washington, convince him of the danger. He wishes Arnold would be willing to help, since he at least appreciates the seriousness of the threat to Washington.

Then Washington insists on talking to Shanks himself and reveals that he'd already know the man was a deserter. Dammit, does he still not trust him enough to share something like that? Why must he always prove himself by digging up the details himself that Washington had had all along? Must everything be a test with him?

When Washington tells Sackett to debrief Sutherland, part of him wants to wash his hands of the whole business but he is certain of Shanks' truthfulness, whatever Washington says. He goes back to the man, pushes for the piece of the puzzle he is missing, and then suddenly it becomes clear.

He doesn't remember afterwards the mad dash across camp only the moment where he throws back the tent flaps and his heart stops at the sight of Sackett lying motionless on the floor. He knows even as he kneels over him that it is too late but hopes desperately he is wrong, screams for help as he tries to stem the blood flow, begs him not to die. Can he not save even one person?

Washington when he finally arrives, is visibly shaken but Ben is angry, can't stop himself throwing the man's earlier words back in his face. If he was thinking he would have had people searching for the assassin, there was so much blood surely someone must have seen him leave camp, but he is still reeling from it.

When they take Sackett's body away to prepare for burial, Ben is at a loss. Somehow he makes his way across the camp to Arnold's tent, not even thinking about how he must look until he sees the expression on Arnold's face.

Arnold tries to push himself to his feet. "Benjamin, what happened? Are you hurt?"

He looks down at his hands, seeing the blood on them for the first time; his stomach lurches and he tastes bile at the back of his throat. He manages to shake his head. "It's... it's not mine."

He is grateful that Arnold knows him well enough by now not to question him further, instead guiding him to sit down on the cot and sending for warm water. Ben struggles to keep his breathing steady. When the water arrives, he scrubs his hands clean, shaking as it starts to sink in. There is blood on his waistcoat too and on the knees of his breeches and he can’t do this...

When he is finally calm enough to look up, Arnold is sitting in the chair opposite him and the tent is closed. He looks sympathetic but suddenly Ben is angry, with Sutherland, or should he call him Gamble, with Shanks for not telling him the whole truth from the beginning, with Andre for coming up with the plan but most of all with Washington who, whatever he says clearly still doesn't trust him.

It overflows out of him and Arnold lets him rant, pacing as much as he can within the narrow confines of the tent until he runs out of words. Then grief rises up to fill the space the anger has left. Arnold barely knew Nathaniel Sackett, had no reason to respect the civilian, but he listens as Ben shares memories of Sackett, voice breaking as he realizes he will never get to speak to him again.

Sackett was one of the few people who knew about him, and one of even fewer who'd worked it out for themselves. It had been late spring...

##  
_He hates it when his courses come, the reminder that he is still betrayed by his own body. His chest aches when he binds it and he worries constantly about blood showing through the light uniform breeches. Somehow it is better when he is on more active duty - the exercise taking his mind off the pain in his abdomen but here, confined to camp by wet weather and his duties, he has nothing to distract him._

_He hadn't even realised where his hand was trying to massage away the cramps until he looked up and saw Sackett watching him, a crease between his eyes. He curses inwardly, how could he be so foolish as to let his guard down with a man he knew to be trained in intelligence gathering?_

_He is saved from immediate questioning by Caleb's entrance, his friend bringing hot tea for all of them. He takes a sip and tastes Anna's special blend; chamomile along with other herbs to ease the ache. He could bless the other man for his thoughtfulness - Caleb hadn't even needed to be told, probably knew Ben's cycle better than he did._

_Of course, Caleb could be trusted to keep his secret but Sackett had a way of getting answers out of you that you didn't know you were giving and Ben wished he could think of a good way to send his friend away so he wouldn't inadvertently betray him. Fortunately Providence was on his side and Caleb had other tasks to attend to._

_Still Sackett had evidently figured out something was up. He kept darting short glances in Ben's direction - Ben could almost feel the weight of his gaze at his throat, on his hands, across his chest and lower. It almost came as a relief when the older man broke the silence._

_"Major, perhaps we could speak in private."_

_Sackett indicated that he should take a seat on the bed in his small caravan and, though Ben would far sooner have remained standing, there was hardly space for it. He tried not to wince as he sat, to keep his expression neutral, but he couldn't help the instinct to hunch forward, to try to ease the cramps. It was the wrong thing to have done, he realized immediately as Sackett's expression changed._

_"So, you are not entirely what you appear. I had wondered." Sackett looks at Ben as though he is an interesting translation, something for him to decipher._

_"I don't know what you mean," Ben attempts to protest._

_"Miss Tallmadge, please..."_

_No. "That is not my name!" Ben hisses, hands clenching as he resists the urge to run; if he wants to convince Sackett not to use his new knowledge he has to stay and talk it out._

_Sackett gives him an assessing look. "Then perhaps you should explain."  
##_

That explanation had been a stumbling one, as Sackett had had a lot of questions. Still, he remembered, after the older man's initial confusion, how supportive he had been. How much it had entertained him when Ben had pointed out how many soldiers, especially how many of his Dragoons, were not entirely what they had appeared.

Sackett had needed no real persuasion once his curiosity was appeased, had been quick to agree that what was between his legs was no-one's business but his own, but he was intrigued at the possibilities. He had even introduced him to several similar cases in Europe, but now he is gone. Another casualty of this bloody war; another death on Ben's conscience. Arnold passes no judgement on his tears and hushes him when he tries to apologise, until he falls asleep.

When Ben wakes, Arnold is sitting beside him on the cot, his hand a reassuring weight on his back. Ben wishes he could stay here but knows he needs to go. Still, it is late when he eventually makes it back, to find Caleb pacing outside his tent. “I thought you were going to Baltimore?” he asks, confused.

Caleb dismisses his concerns with a wave of his hand. "I changed my mind. Where have you been? I heard about Sackett then I couldn't find you anywhere. I've been worried sick."

"I was with General Arnold." At Caleb's frown, Ben realizes he hasn't had the chance to explain to Caleb yet and braces himself for his reaction, even as he lets him into the tent.

"So what's that about?” Caleb asks. “And why did I have to hear about it from Fletcher." He seems almost offended by that fact.

"There was never a right time to mention it," Ben says. Caleb's expression hardens and he knows that was the wrong answer. As though he doesn't feel guilty enough, so much has happened since Caleb left he doesn't know where to begin.

"Fletcher says you're soft on him," Caleb says and it sounds like an accusation.

Ben doesn't have the energy for this conversation. "What if I am?"

"You know I worry about you, Benny-boy. I hope you know what you're doing."

Ben feels almost faint, everything is spiralling out of his control. "I wish I did," he says, sitting on the edge of his cot and putting his head in his hands. 

Caleb sits down beside him, puts an arm over his shoulders. "Tell me about it."

He takes a deep breath, he might as well do this now. "He asked me to be his aide-de-camp, I said yes." He can tell Caleb is about to interrupt so pushes on. "Then he kissed me and I told him about me."

"Bloody hell, Tall-boy, you don't do anything by halves, do you?"

He has to laugh, that or else he'd cry again, but what comes out is closer to a sob.

Caleb pulls his arm tighter around him, "Hey, hey, Benny, you know I don’t care. You just need to be careful, that’s all.”

“I’m always careful,” he snaps.

He feels rather than sees the shrugs. “Never said you weren’t. But I heard Bradford talking this afternoon, the bastard was joking about Sackett’s death and saying you were currying favor with to Arnold as though even you recognized Washington was on the way out."

It’s not ideal but if that's the worst of what they're saying, Ben can cope with that. In the meantime he allows Caleb to help him to bed, comforting in the way only family can be, and hopes everything will feel clearer in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Usual historical (in)accuracy note - as Caleb references the camp having moved from Morristown, I'm going to assume this is the point they move to Valley Forge, even though the series doesn't specifically reference it until S2.07 (of course, historically the army was only encamped at Morristown from January to May 1777 so it's all handwaving anyway and were actually moving from White Marsh, as I reference at the start of the chapter). This means the events of S2.05 would have to occur between December 19 and Dec 31, 1777. For my purposes, I'm having it happen before Christmas.*


	6. Chapter 6

Despite his private grief, life goes on at Valley Forge. Ben forces himself to sort through Sackett's paperwork to be certain exactly what had been taken. The first time he ventures into the tent, he still half expects to see the older man sitting there, to hear his voice, and Caleb finds him a couple of hours later weeping over some of his personal notes. His friend doesn't chide him for the unmanly tears but Ben knows he must be stronger.

Washington writes the letter of condolence to Sackett's family, reads an eulogy at his funeral and expresses his sorrow but does not offer Ben any apologies for not believing him about Sutherland, or should he say Gamble. Ben sticks to the plain facts about exactly what paperwork is missing and otherwise bites his tongue; it is clear Washington considers the matter closed and it will not help his case to prolong the argument.

Huts go up slowly to Washington's design; it takes three days for the first and the second is ready in time for Christmas Day, when Washington allows the men an extra gill of whiskey or spirits to keep their spirits up. Soldiers' families and other camp followers begin to arrive now they are settled.

Arnold wins the loyalty of his troops several times over for refusing either the offer of a house a few miles away from the main encampment or his own hut until there are sufficient built to house all the sick and wounded men comfortably.

Christmas otherwise passes as any other day, with only a short service for their own troops, though their European allies arrange for one of the French chaplains to perform a full mass. Ben wonders what his father is doing, remembers with some anger how the British are using his church for their garrison.

Washington holds an officers' dinner to celebrate Christmas and as Ben helps Arnold get ready, the general surprises him with a gift of a pair of fine leather gloves. He dismisses Ben's apologies for lacking a return gift, insisting it is entirely unnecessary. There is nothing Ben can do at this stage but he resolves to find out when Arnold's birthday is so he can reciprocate.

Unlike the previous dinner, there are enough officers in attendance this time that Ben, and the other aides-de-camp are seated at a separate table. Fortunately he is far enough from Bradford that he is able to ignore him for the majority of the meal. The drink is flowing freely, provided by the Marquis de Lafayette who is celebrating the news which has only recently reached him of his daughter's birth. 

Bradford makes his usual snide comment about Washington's rumored infertility and the young men he surrounds himself with but he has misjudged the company they are in. Ben doesn't even need to say a word as the other major is soundly admonished by Washington’s aides and forced to try and pass it off as a joke.

When the dinner is over, it is clear Arnold has had more than enough to drink. It may have dulled his pain but he is even more unsteady on his feet than usual and Ben ends up taking most of his weight as he helps him back to his tent. He has got candles lit and the tent door drawn tight when Arnold tries to pull him into his lap.

He can't help the gasp of surprise which escapes before he realizes the danger in drawing attention to them. "Please, sir," he tries but Arnold's hand is heavy at the back of his neck and then his mouth is on Ben's. It is nothing like their first kiss, sloppy and open-mouthed. He can smell the spirits on Arnold's breath and, even as part of him thrills at the possessive embrace, he knows he does not want their first time to be like this.

Arnold's hands wander and the disconcerting sensation of fingers brushing against his chest is enough to push him into making an effort to move away. He manages to extricate himself from Arnold's grip, though not without more kisses pressed to his jaw when he turns his face away, to his throat. Arnold protests as he pulls out of his reach.

He helps him remove his coat and boots but with Arnold in this mood he isn't prepared to undress him further, instead helping him under the covers still in his clothes. Almost as soon as he is horizontal Arnold is fast asleep and snoring, whilst Ben takes deep breaths to try to calm his racing heart. He checks his appearance in the glass, straightens his clothes and hair; it would do neither of their reputations any good for him to leave looking dishevelled.

In the morning, Arnold sleeps late as do many of the other officers who had overindulged. Even Washington looks less composed than normal, is almost sharp with the Marquis who was, after all, responsible for the abundance of drink; the Frenchman, of course, looks none the worse for wear.

When Ben goes to see him around midday, Arnold is apologetic but it is clear he doesn't entirely remember the evening's turn of events. Ben tries not to hold it against him but he worries about what Arnold’s expectations are and it makes him feel awkward.

He continues to serve as Arnold's aide though; helping him walk around his tent, to his horse, to mount and dismount. He gets the surgeon to show him how to check Arnold's wound, to change his bandages. There are moments when, kneeling between his legs, his hands on the general's thigh, he feels a certain charge in the air between them, but then he will hear a sound from outside the tent or Arnold will gasp in pain and the moment will pass.

Still, he tries to make the most of the little privacy they have, brief touches and stolen kisses when he is sure they are alone early in the morning or late at night, but Ben is certain Arnold is becoming impatient. He shares a tent with Caleb for warmth but Arnold makes the offer for him more than once that he could share his bed instead. The thought of doing more with Arnold than kissing is daunting and Ben feels guilty for being glad the logistics of the act are against them. He is happy to wait and meanwhile they content themselves with the touches allowed by their positions. 

It is the New Year's Eve when Arnold accepts a hut, with a cot set aside for his aide-de-camp, and they are behind solid walls with a door that locks. Ben still feels awkward once the door is shut behind them and only candle light illuminates the room. He has a good idea what Arnold is expecting but isn't sure he can oblige when even the thought of being naked before him causes a knot of anxiety in his gut.

He has helped Arnold out of his boots as any other night and Arnold is sat on the end of his bed undoing his waistcoat. He probably intends his look to seem reassuring but Ben still can't stop his hands shaking.

"You know I won't think any less of you if you're not ready for this," Arnold tells him.

"But I am," Ben says, he wants to believe him but more than that he wants not to disappoint. "That is, I want to be, however..."

Arnold reaches out to him and Ben allows him to take his hand. The touch steadies him as Arnold gives him a warm look. "Why don't you ready yourself for bed as you usually would but then perhaps you would do me the honor of sleeping beside me?"

Although that sounded less daunting, Ben is still shaking with nerves as he ducks behind the partition ostensibly separating their sleeping quarters. The air is chilled even with the brazier lit as he quickly strips down to his undergarments but despite the cold he finds himself hesitating.

He would usually remove the bindings over his chest to sleep but the thought of being so revealed to Arnold makes his stomach churn. Still, he knows sleep will be hard to come by bound and reluctantly unwinds the bandages then pulls his nightshirt over his head without looking down. He hesitates again over his drawers but ultimately discards them and the rolled up stockings pinned within to keep up appearances; his shirt covers him almost to his knees and Arnold knows what he lacks.

By the time Ben has calmed himself and gotten ready several minutes have passed and there are no sounds from the other side of the hut. A small part of him wonders - hopes even - Arnold might already be asleep but the greater part longs to take this next step. He has never dared to be intimate with another before and, whatever Caleb may say, his hand is not an adequate substitute, especially since it isn't as easy a task for him as for his friend.

He makes his way back past the partition and Arnold is already in the bed, sitting up against the headboard. Ben had thought this part would embarrass him, feeling Arnold's eyes upon him in this state of undress but instead he finds himself staring at Arnold's broad chest, with its dusting of hair, and his mouth feels dry. He longs to run his hands over that bare expanse of skin, feel his warmth and be touched in return. Ben feels his face heat as he realizes he is standing staring and bites his lip, unsure how to break the silence.

Arnold lifts up the cover. "Don't stand there in the cold," he says and, when Ben takes a couple of steps forward then hesitates again, "Nothing has to happen tonight, Benjamin."

He is still nervous but slips under the blankets. It is warmer but also too narrow for them to comfortably lay side by side. Ben worries about where to put his cold feet, it’s bad enough when he’s sharing a bedroll with Caleb, here he feels it would rather spoil the mood. Arnold encourages him to turn onto his side, facing away and slips an arm around his waist. "Is this alright?"

He can feel the other man's breath on the back of his neck, the heat radiating off him, the weight of his arm. Despite the vulnerability of his position, he doesn’t feel trapped. Only their upper bodies are touching and Arnold's hand rests on his stomach. He is in control of the situation; he could shuffle backwards, close the gap between their lower halves, or move the hand somewhere more intimate but he doesn't feel any pressure to do so. “It’s good,” he says.

“Relax then,” Arnold says, as though it is that simple. He has always tried to avoid sharing a bed unless with Samuel, or Caleb who might as well be his brother, and where it couldn’t be avoided had always kept as much space as possible between himself and his bedmate. As much as he appreciates Arnold’s warmth, the physical contact is alien to him. Still, he tries to focus on the comfort

“That’s it,” Arnold presses kisses to his shoulder, the back of his neck. The hand on his stomach is moving, not with any apparent intent just up and down, back and forth, but Ben can imagine what it is a precursor to and he doesn’t feel ready. He doesn’t want the closeness to stop either so in lieu of a discussion, simply clasps that hand in his and squeezes gently.

Arnold pauses in his ministrations. “Enough?”

He doesn't sound upset but Ben still hesitates before saying softly, “For tonight.”

“Very well.” Arnold doesn't push, simply settles against him, chin tucked into Ben’s shoulder. He hadn’t thought Arnold would object, as impatient as he is in day to day life, he never shows that in his dealings with Ben, but it is still a relief. 

In the morning, Ben wakes slowly, appreciating the warm embrace. Arnold must have already been awake, or awakening too, as he greets him with a "Happy New Year, Benjamin." It certainly is a more comfortable awakening then the previous one.

~~  
_Ben fights his way back to consciousness, his last memory of sinking under the freezing water of the Delaware. He manages to crack open his eyes - he can tell it's daytime now but the light is too strong to focus on anything else._

_He tries to move an arm, try to work out where he is by touch, when he realises something much more telling - he is in dry clothes, someone has stripped him, oh god, his chest is bare beneath the loose shirt he's been dressed in. He sits up sharply and the sudden dizziness adds to his growing panic._

_This isn't the army camp, only a crude lean-to beside a solitary camp-fire. This is all his fears come true - his secret has been discovered and they haven't even waited until he's recovered to leave him behind. His hands clench into fists as he tries to control his breathing, work out what to do next, but he is shaking._

_The next thing he knows Caleb is at his side. "Aw, Benny... hey, calm down. Breath Benny-boy."_

_He is so tired he is struggling to even sit up and he can't get any words out past the panic but Caleb knows what to do. He allows Caleb to push him back onto the bedroll then grabs hold of his hand before the other man can move away._

_Caleb seems to know what he's trying to ask and squeezes his hand reassuringly. "Everything's fine, Benny," he says. "No-one knows a thing. I had to get your wet clothes off you, that's all. Just me, Benny."_

_The tightness in his chest eases and he can breathe again. Just Caleb. That's alright, Caleb is safe. As his panic fades, the tiredness overwhelms him again and Caleb is able to soothe him back to sleep._

_The second time he awakes things seem clearer. The light doesn't hurt when he opens his eyes and when he pushes himself up onto an arm the dizziness has gone. He is still tired and he aches as though he has been fighting a battle not a fever._

_It is only a moment before Caleb notices and meets his gaze with a smile. "Hey, Happy New Year, Tall-boy," he says. "How do you feel?"_

_What does he mean? The last clear memory Ben has it was the 26th, surely it can't have been a whole week, but the empty camp suggests it can have been. "Where are the men?" he asks, with a groan. His throat is dry and his stomach complains of hunger._

_Caleb will only tell him they gone, which isn't helpful. He needs to know where they've gone, how else will they be able to rejoin the army? Caleb gives him a dark look while pointing out him he's been out for days but, as much as he can appreciate his friend's concern, they have to return to their posts now he is recovered._

_"Where were they headed?" he tries instead._

_Caleb frowns at him, "Uh, Trenton."_

_"Trenton?" Ben repeats, excitement rushing through him. That means their plan worked, Washington actually paid attention to Abe's report. It was all worth it.  
~~_

This is a decided improvement, warm and dry and with the comforting sounds of the camp waking up outside. Ben hears the reveille being played and reluctantly pulls away from Arnold's embrace. He needs to make his bed make it look as though it has been slept in before unbarring the door to allow a camp servant in to tend the brazier and fetch the general's breakfast. 

He only gets a few days after the New Year to relax before the bad news arrives. Caleb returns from his courier trip with a message from Anna; Abe has got himself captured as a suspected spy whilst pretending to be a double agent for the British. 

Ben is angry with Abe but Washington is understandably furious and worse still, disappointed in him. Ben feels helpless, he has no excuse for Abe's idiocy, though in hindsight he wonders if that was what Anna was trying to get Abe to tell him when he visited them. He should have pressed but Abe had been so defensive about his plans. 

When he expresses to Washington that a prisoner exchange could be arranged for the release of Major Hewlett, Washington reads him the letter he received describing Hewlett's alleged crimes. Ben can hardly believe it is the same man they encountered in Setauket; the honorable officer he remembers hardly seemed capable of that. Simcoe, of course, he could have well believed it of. 

He tries to reason with Washington and is stunned when the general tells him he is relieving him of his duties as head of intelligence, that he cannot trust him. He has to bite his tongue not to argue with him, knowing it will not help his case. It is even harder to hold back when Washington says he will be sending him to Boston in the spring; he is sure appraising the state of their defences is a necessary task and those of his Dragoons from Massachusetts will be glad of the chance to see their homes and families but it is still clearly a punishment detail. The only saving grace is that Washington doesn't actually demote him but then again, that would mean having to make his intelligence role public. 

Caleb is waiting for him outside Washington's tent and, when he tells him of Washington's decision, his friend is sympathetic but unhelpful. He jokes about his own tendency to disobey orders and Ben is reminded of Scott's complaints about his insubordination. He feels guilty for being angry at Abe when it was he who pushed him into spying in the first place but really, what had he been thinking? 

The swig of Madeira he takes from Caleb's bottle doesn't help and he wishes for something stronger but he has always been careful not to drink heavily and now is not the time to start. 

Caleb is full of ideas on how to free Abe, which he does appreciate; Abe is still his friend, no matter how stupid he has been and if they can keep Culper’s cover intact and still have eyes in New York, so much the better. Not only that but Abe had mentioned a new contact, Townsend may still be able to help them. Though Washington hasn't told him who will be taking on his intelligence duties, and the obvious choice Hamilton, who has his own source in New York, was at Peekskill recovering from illness at the last report. 

Caleb doesn't see the bigger picture but Ben cannot forgot Gates and Lee are still pushing for Washington's removal as commander of the army, and Lee may well be a traitor. He hasn’t heard from Abigail yet but still believes she may be the key to outing Lee, which doesn’t help if there is no-one to receive her reports. 

Besides, it is easily a month to Boston and back and though Washington didn't address his other duties, he cannot be unaware. Arnold is moving about more easily now but he is unlikely to be fit to return to combat duties before the spring. 

He leaves Caleb to his ideas and goes to Arnold but his reaction to the news that he will be no longer doing intelligence work for Washington isn't what he could have hoped either. 

"I always thought you were wasted on desk duty, Benjamin," he says, making no effort to disguise his satisfaction. "Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. I will be glad to have more of your company." 

Ben forces himself to smile, he cannot tell him about Abe, no matter how he feels. He wishes he could though, Arnold might know the officers of the New Haven militia well enough to talk them round but it would be beyond rude to go behind Washington's back to do so. Instead, he breaks the other news. "He wants to send me to Boston in the spring." 

Here at least Arnold shares his unhappiness, if not entirely for the same reasons. "And I am just supposed to manage without an aide, am I?" 

"Washington didn't mention it," he says, but then Washington has never discussed it since his initial request for permission. "I am still officially assigned to the Dragoons though, it's not unreasonable." It felt unreasonable, but maybe he was just over-reacting. 

"Well, when I'm back in the field, you can be assigned to my command full time," Arnold tells him, as though he will back to full duties by the spring. "Still, perhaps I should have a word with General Washington - I wouldn't want him to think I'm happy to have you reassigned. He wouldn't appreciate one of his aides being taken away." 

Ben is conscious that he may not have left their commander with the best impression, so moves to persuade him to wait. "It will be at least a month before we can undertake that sort of journey," he says. "Anything might come up before then." Perhaps Washington will have a change of heart over Abe and Hewlett, or he might receive correspondence from Abigail or even Townsend, but he cannot tell Arnold that. 

Arnold gives him a searching look. "If you're tired of working for me, you just need to say." 

"Serving you is an honor," Ben says, trying to put as much genuine feeling into it as he can. "But spring is still a while away. You may tire of me by then." He tries to make it sound like a joke, but in truth he fears he will not be able to hold his affection. 

"I doubt that's possible." Arnold lowers his tone and his look is somewhat suggestive, as he reaches out to Ben. 

Although it is the middle of the day, he allows Arnold to pull him into a brief embrace, too weary to turn away the comfort. It will all work out somehow, it has to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual note on timelines - there's a whole lot of inconsistency in the series over when Abe was captured and how long both he and Hewlett were imprisoned for (Ben and Caleb continue to refer to events 'in the New Year' long after it really should have happened). As I want to keep Monmouth at its historical June 28 date, I'm going to work on the assumption that both Abe and Hewlett are captured in late December and spend all of January and most of February imprisoned, retconning any references to 'the New Year' from here to being 'in the spring.' This also helps me move towards the historically accurate date of May 6 for the celebration of the French alliance in S2.08. This chapter therefore takes place between Dec 25 and early January.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than intended as I had originally planned to include a more intimate scene but then it didn't suit the flow of the chapter plus I didn't want to up the rating so I had to rewrite it. Instead I will be making this into a series and posting the scene as a separate work (hopefully) later this week.

January is over almost before he knows it, with no more progress in persuading Washington to have Major Hewlett released. Ben pores over the newspapers they get out of New York; every day which passes without a story about the British hanging a spy is a victory. He knows they would need hard evidence or a confession in order to convict and clearly Abe has given them neither. Ben feels vindicated in his trust of Abe, whatever Washington may think, and takes pleasure in the knowledge that they are still outsmarting Major Andre. The British officer may know of Culper's existence but he has no idea that his own troops hold him. Still, Nathan's fate haunts his dreams.

Washington is distant with him, has his aides take his scouting reports and communications from Arnold where possible. When he cannot avoid their meeting, it is always brief. He feels guilty for bringing up Hewlett's fate but it would look suspicious for him to question his aides too closely on this matter. Unsurprisingly Washington refuses to give him an answer. Ben can see he appears tired; for the first time looks his age.

Arnold's birthday is a minor distraction mid-month. After the surprise of his Christmas gift, Ben is determined to return the favor but by the time he discovers the date he barely has time to arrange anything. In the end Caleb's smuggling connections prove useful in acquiring a suitable gift, a fine brandy, which Arnold is suitably impressed by, though at the cost of his friend's disapproval.

It isn't that Caleb has anything bad to say about General Arnold but he keeps his distance and makes it is clear he thinks Ben is making a mistake in becoming involved with the older man. Still, he refuses to argue with him about it, telling him he will have his back if it all goes to shit. At least he has to agree Arnold seems to have the right idea about the threat Lee poses, though he avoids getting involved in any discussions over what they can do about it. Even without the courier work, Caleb vanishes for days at a time and Ben can't bring himself to question where he's been.

Without his duties for Washington, and with snow on the ground keeping the Dragoons close to camp, patrols curtailed by the short winter days, Ben finds himself spending most of his time with Arnold. The weather conditions make for treacherous footing and Arnold struggles with even the short distance between his hut and the tent which serves as his office, such as it is. Ben frequently ends up helping support him and, if Arnold’s pride wasn’t so fierce, might almost have believed he leant on him deliberately for the contact.

Arnold doesn’t receive a lot of visitors but those who do often arrive without warning so Ben finds himself having to deliberately keep him at arm’s length to remind him to be careful about showing affection in public, particularly after a near-miss involving one of Washington’s aides-de-camp. Fortunately he still has the excuse of Arnold’s injury to justify his assistance but that was hardly an explanation for where Arnold’s hands had been.

In an effort to distract Arnold from his discomfort in a way which won’t get them into any trouble they discuss strategy; talking over battles already fought and lost or win, thoughts on how to retake Philadelphia or even New York. Arnold tells him tales of Quebec, their attack on the city in the middle of a blizzard, the merit of doing the unexpected; he skims over how he had been shot then the first time, though Ben understands it is partly that old injury complicating his recovery now, then the retreat back to Ticonderoga and the naval action at Valcour Island, where Samuel had fought alongside him. 

Listening to him talking passionately about ships reminded Ben of long evenings hearing Caleb tell whaling stories and made him wish they could all be friends. Arnold might not be of noble birth like some officers, but he is still a general now and he probably wouldn’t want to be seen to be fraternizing with the lower ranks anyway. Besides Caleb might be impressed by tales of smuggling but probably wouldn’t have the patience for his talk about politics now, his anger at Congress’ refusal to reimburse him his financial losses seeping through whenever he talks about them.

This leads into discussions of their concerns about Washington and the campaign against him. Congress has appointed Conway Inspector General, which has allowed Lee, Gates and their cronies to increase their complaints against Washington for the lack of winter raids, as though they have not seen the condition of the men for themselves. Morale is still relatively high, despite the poor conditions in the camp, as many had doubted their ragtag army would even survive this long against the British forces but discipline is lacking, and who can blame the men who would sooner huddle together against the cold than carry out exercises, chop firewood or dig latrines? 

Given the struggle to find enough rations for people, let alone animals, the army has resorted to eating horsemeat. The Dragoons face a fair amount of resentment, particularly from officers of other regiments, that the majority of their horses are exempt the butcher's axe and Ben does his best to ensure they are out of camp as much as possible and that they try to find their own hay and grain. It is hard on the horses but come spring they will be needed.

When they exhaust the topic of the war, or at least tire of it, the conversation turns to more personal matters. Ben talks about his studies at Yale, even finds himself telling Arnold about Nathan. In return Arnold tells him about his travels to the West Indies, describing the sights with an almost poetic flair, about his sons and his hopes and fears for their future, and rarely, only when he has had a drink to loosen his tongue, about his late wife.

The increased proximity inevitably leads to more intimate conversations too. Ben haltingly explaining the lengths he goes to conceal the ways in which his body is different. Arnold is endlessly patient with this, seemingly only seeking understanding, and takes what he learns to heart, cautious when he touches him. Ben still has reservations about deepening their relationship but then a chance discovery pushes him to take the next step.

Ben is searching Arnold's letterbox for a note from General Greene when he comes across the letter from Miss Shippen, but there is more here than the one letter he had seen before. He feels like he is intruding to read his personal correspondence but he can't help looking, feeling a spike of jealousy. When did he write to her? Why?

"Did you find it?" Arnold asks.

Ben turns, holding up the bundle of letters. "You wrote her back?" He asks, struggling to keep his tone even. He shouldn't be surprised, it doesn't mean anything to them. Arnold is still relatively young and there is no reason he shouldn't seek a normal relationship.

Arnold looks confused, makes a snort of almost laughter. "Benjamin, are you jealous?"

"Yes." He knows he shouldn't be but that doesn't stop the feeling and he isn’t going to pretend otherwise.

"Read them then," Arnold says, sounding unconcerned, though Ben notices he doesn’t take his eyes off him as he sits down to read.

Ben starts with Miss Shippen’s original letter before turning to Arnold’s reply. He raises an eyebrow at the florid language and looks up at him. "How much laudanum had you taken before writing this?"

Arnold laughs again, and it sounds more natural this time. "I'm told young ladies appreciate the flattery.”

He isn’t quite sure how he is supposed to interpret that, so looks back at the letter and continues, shaking his head, "You recall how Paris started the Trojan Wars by running off with Helen?"

"I didn’t have your classical education, Benjamin, but I know what a girl like her wants to hear. Besides, you always shun my efforts to be romantic."

"Is that what you call it?” In truth, he has turned away apparently romantic gestures for fear.

“Would you rather I flattered you with classical allusions? Compared us to Achilles and -what was his lover called- Patrician?”

“Patroclus,” he corrects, feeling his face heat at the implication and turning instead back to the original subject. “I’m just not sure why she’s writing you. How much of an impression did you leave on her during your previous meeting?”

Arnold frowns at the insinuation. “She was just a girl. And I was a married man then.”

“What do you know about her family? You said they were wealthy. Are they secretly Patriots, trying to warn us about something? Or Tories, looking to use her to get information out of you?”

“Is this what being a spy does, makes you suspicious of a harmless letter?” Arnold sounds annoyed, but Ben recognizes the crease between his brows, knows he has started to think.

He shrugs. “She might be harmless. A childish infatuation given shape. But if she writes you back, consider what someone more ruthless could do with the information.”

Arnold nods thoughtfully and Ben is grateful to have his concerns taken seriously. He wants to tell him about their spy network in the city, particularly Abigail, offer to look into it further, but what if he lets something slip to Miss Shippen and she is careless? On the one hand, if any more information about Lee comes in while he is in Boston, Arnold would know how best to act on it, but on the other he can't explain how Abigail came to be doing this without giving away Anna's involvement, and then he is treading a fine line to revealing Abe. No, he will have to come up with a better plan than that.

Both the problem of Abigail’s potential intelligence and the correspondence with Shippen are still on his mind the next day when Caleb returns from one of his trips. Of course, that means Caleb immediately uses them to distract him from questioning what he has been doing. “You’re looking bothered, Tallboy. Trouble in Paradise?”

He frowns at his friend, they haven’t said anything damning but they don’t know who could be listening in, still he knows there is little point prevaricating. "Not exactly, I just hate keeping secrets from him."

“I thought you didn’t have any secrets from him?” Caleb has made no attempt to hide his objections to Ben revealing his nature to Arnold and it is very obvious now in his tone.

Ben grits his teeth. He doesn’t want to argue over something which is done. “I can’t tell him about Abe so he doesn’t understand why I’m still bothered by Washington’s decision. And now I’ve found out he’s been writing to some girl in Philadelphia and I can’t explain why it worries me.”

Caleb frowns. “To be fair, Benny, I don’t see the issue either. You never struck me as the jealous type, right?”

“It’s not that,” he snaps, shaking his head. “Look, we know their head of intelligence is in Philadelphia, that Lee is probably reporting to him, and I’m not supposed to be concerned when my general starts getting letters from an unknown source?”

“Your General?” Caleb’s tone is suggestive.

Ben blushes. He hadn’t meant it like that but the thought makes him warm inside. “I am his aide-de-camp,” he says, trying to keep his own tone steady. “Is it even right for me to keep a secret from him which could make the difference?”

“You want to tell him about… 355?”

Caleb is right to use her code name, there is no-one obviously in earshot, and he trusts his Dragoons anyway but canvas isn’t soundproof. “I want to tell him about all of it. He could help him with our problem in New Haven too.”

"I don’t know, Ben,” Caleb says, looking doubtful. “You’ve trusted him your life, Tallboy, but are you sure you can trust him with Culper's?"

"It doesn't matter anyway, I promised Culper no-one would know about him from me."

Nothing is resolved but the situation eats away at him. Ben doesn't want Arnold to feel he is pushing him away, especially not into the arms of some unknown girl in Philadelphia. He may not be able to encourage any romantic gestures but there is an intimacy he can allow.

Since the first time they shared a bed, they have slept alongside each other most nights, except during his courses when he can’t bear to be touched, but they have done nothing more than kiss. Arnold has made it clear the next move is up to him and Ben thinks now that time has come.

In the end what passes between them feels like a natural progression, rather than the great step he had feared. Arnold, no, he cannot be so formal when they are being so intimate, Benedict never pushes him for more than he is ready to give. Having expected to see to Benedict’s pleasure instead of his own, Ben is surprised to learn there are ways of sharing pleasure equally which do not require him to uncover more of his body than he is comfortable with.

Benedict implies that, if Ben will permit more intimate contact, there are greater heights of pleasure he can take him to, but does not insist. Ben can hardly imagine more when they have already gone far beyond the limits of his previous experience.

After that night Ben begins to relax more; his fears that further intimacy would make Benedict treat him differently proving unfounded. In fact, the only difference is Caleb teasing him about finally losing his virginity, though he isn’t entirely sure it should count. He feels guilty when they laugh together about it, thinking of Abe imprisoned. The sugar house may be better than the Jersey but it will hardly be the comfort of his own bed.

Before he realizes it is February and his birthday comes round. Benedict and Caleb are the only ones who knows the real date, two weeks earlier than on his official papers. Arnold again exceeds his expectations, producing a new pair of riding boots, when there are hundreds of men in camp with no shoes at all. Benedict only shrugs when he asks about where he got them, “Your bearded friend isn’t the only one with smuggling connections.”

Ben overhears Washington’s aides-de-camp gossiping about the general being ill, that he's suffered fits of dizziness, has been hearing and seeing things, but Bradford passes him with only a glare so he knows the rumors have not yet spread further. He is relieved to know they still trust him enough to share that in his presence.

About a week past his birthday Ben finally gets the orders he's been dreading, to take a small detachment of Dragoons up to Boston with messages and collect details of that city’s defenses. It's around three hundred miles each way so even changing out horses it's going to take them a couple of weeks; they'll probably be lucky if they're back in under a month. 

The night before he leaves, he and Benedict make their goodbyes privately. In the warm afterglow, Ben realizes how much he is going to miss this; not just the comfort of a bed and a roof over his head, but their companionship. He doesn't even know if or when he will be returning to Valley Forge, so much depends on the outcome of his and Caleb's plan, which he daren't tell Benedict and who knows when the army will leave winter quarters.

Benedict strokes his hair, "Don't look so worried, Benjamin. You'll be back before you know it."

He shakes off his melancholy, makes a joke of it. "I'm just thinking of the cold bedroll I have to look forward to during the trip."

Benedict laughs. "I shall miss your company too. Leaving me alone with only my correspondence with Miss Shippen to entertain me."

At least he is willing to play along, even though Ben is certain he shares his heavy heart. "Then I'm sure you shall hardly miss me at all."

"Well, by the time you return I should be back on my feet properly and ready for the next season of campaigning.” 

Ben has seen the look of the surgeon's face during his examinations and suspects his recovery is going slower than hoped. It is doubtful that even a full month will see him fully recovered but he isn't going to be the one to call him on it. Instead he forces a smile, "I look forward to seeing you on the battlefield again.”

Benedict leans down to kiss his forehead. “Benjamin, I know you hold out hope General Washington will see sense and reinstate you, but remember you will always have a place with my command."

The next morning dawns too bright and early but he has no excuses to make. He wishes he could see Washington before he leaves but Washington still won't speak to him directly, leaving one of his aide-de-camps to send him off.

It is barely spring and the snow is just starting to melt in Pennsylvania but as they travel north it is still frozen underfoot. When they reach Connecticut, Ben tells his Dragoons to continue onto Boston and arranges where he will meet them there, insulating them if it turns out he is making a mistake, while he and Caleb go to free Hewlett. Their plan is to tell the militia they have orders from Washington and, once they have Hewlett alone, to tell him this is repaying the favor of his releasing his prisoners last year.

Caleb had suggested they just let their guard down and allow the British officer to escape while they are sleeping. Ben had countered that, if Hewlett is the fiend he is accused of being he would likely slit their throats and if he is truly a man of honor he wouldn't take advantage of it. Besides they need to avoid any suspicion as to why they are doing this so as not to blow Abe's cover. Ben mentions Abe's comment about Anna having the major's friendship and Caleb says they should have brought Selah along to threaten him into keeping her safe.

As they approach the camp, it is immediately evident something is wrong by the lack of sentries and when they find the ransacked camp, Ben is torn between his usual anger at the British and their allies and relief that they would not have to go through with their admittedly flimsy plan. If Hewlett has been rescued by his own people then they need not concern themselves with it further, and Abe's secret will stay safe.

Ben checks the bodies of the militiamen but the British or Tories had been thorough. Amongst the dead he recognizes a former classmate from Yale and in the pocket of the young Lieutenant find a letter from Washington. The General had written to the New Haven militia requesting Hewlett's release after all, had it been too late? Or had the British raid been more timely than he thought? Then he sees the grave marker, had Washington's letter come too late? Did they execute him anyway or maybe he died of the cold. Would the militia whose captain he had supposedly murdered really have gone to the length of burying him with this frozen ground, but of course they had to do something with the body. Then again, the grave looks fairly freshly turned over, perhaps the militia killed him rather than let his people rescue him and they dug the grave? Ben resists the urge to dig up the grave to find out.

Caleb returns from tracking to let Ben know what they are facing but he is deep in guilt. He has failed Abe. Caleb says it is Providence that saved them from being there when the camp was attacked. Perhaps it is arrogance to think they could have made a difference. 

Then Caleb insists they can still rescue Abe, that they have at least three days before news of this gets to New York and that's even if they recognize what Hewlett's death means immediately. Caleb refuses to tell him his plan until they get to their destination.

Two days of hard riding gets them back to Morristown. Ben had thought all of Sackett's collection had come with them to Valley Forge but obviously Caleb had been paying more attention to them. Ben is reluctant to allow him to take the risk, Bushnell hadn't had a record of safety with his inventions, but as his friend demonstrates how well he knows the device he has to acknowledge Caleb is right. He tries to argue against him going alone, especially when he won't talk about how he plans to get out of the city but in the end has to let him go.

It is small comfort that Caleb is confident, he always has been, but he cannot let a chance to save Abe pass, even though he fears he's going to lose both friends this way. He wishes him the best of luck but he cannot even wait to see if Caleb is successful. He has delayed in his actual duties long enough and is forced to continue onto Boston, to meet up with his Dragoons. As he rides he prays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A further note on timelines: this part gives me a lot of headaches as the episode gives some specific dates which don't work with the other events unfolding around them, and let's not get into the idea that the post rider was going to leave at midnight and make it from Valley Forge to Connecticut (which is at least 140 miles) the next day. As previously, I'm ignoring the stated dates (a month after Dec 6) and going with my existing timeline. For my purposes, Simcoe's raid and Hewlett's escape occur in mid-late February (roughly 21st) then Abe is released in late February. This also has the benefit of removing the gap from New Year (2.07) to June (2.10)*
> 
> I also have issues with the timeline of the quoted letter from Arnold to Peggy, especially the line "I ... recall our meeting ... in Philadelphia as if it were yesterday, not four long years ago." That would have been 1773 when Peggy was only 13 and Arnold's first wife was still alive. Since Peggy says "when I was 14" it must have been after June 1774. As Andre says "I'm sure you entertained some rebel officers before we came to town" and Arnold only joined the Connecticut militia in March 1775, later would seem more reasonable, though I can’t find a sensible date he could have been to Philadelphia so I’m winging it.


	8. Chapter 8

It is nearly April when Ben returns from Boston and finds Valley Forge transformed. The smell of the waste of thousands of men packed together, which had followed them for some distance when they left, is gone. Soldiers, clean-shaven and no longer dressed in rags nor looking half-starved are performing drills with enthusiasm and skill. Even in Boston he has heard about Baron Von Steuben's appointment, some there had seen him for themselves when he met with Congress in York. Rumors abound about the Baron's relationship with his French secretary, about why he left Europe but the more recent stories have been about his work, the military training he had initiated.

Ben reports to Washington's office to pass on the intelligence from Boston but it appears a month has not been enough to restore him in their commander's esteem and the general will not take his report directly. If it were Hamilton debriefing him he would have dared a question about their friends in New York but without knowing who else is aware he cannot risk asking if there has been any news.

It is mostly dark by the time he finally gets to the Dragoons section of the camp and all he wants to do is sleep for a week but the tiredness lifts as soon as he sees a familiar silhouette by their campfire. He barely allowed himself to think about Caleb or Abe whilst he was away, dreading hearing the worst. Now relief washes over him. Caleb is safe, which must, please Lord it must mean Abe is safe too. Then the figure turns slightly and his heart catches doubt creeps in, the profile is different, clean-shaved, perhaps it isn't him after all.

"You'd hardly recognize him without the beard, would you?" a familiar voice says in his ear.

"Pol..." Ben is almost afraid to ask, can't even form the question but they know him well enough.

"It is him, don’t worry,” they say. “Looks about twelve now, doesn't he?" There is a note of satisfaction in their voice. "No wonder he'd never shave it off."

Ben swallows hard. He doesn’t want to think about what else might have changed in his absence. He looks at the campfire, toasts being made to the returning company. If he joins them he won't get away without a couple of drinks and will not see Arnold until the next day.

Pol must see something in his expression as they continue, "At least he can stop pining now you're back," then, in a lower voice, "Your General's missed you too."

Neither Caleb nor anyone else at the fire has noticed him yet. He has missed them all, especially Caleb but the thought of Arnold's quiet company appeals more. "Does he know I'm back yet?" he asks.

They don't need him to specify who he means. "I haven't told him," they shrug. "You want to surprise him?"

He tilts his head, giving them a confused look. He had deliberately kept his responsibilities to the Dragoons separate, never introduced any of them to Arnold, not wanting to confuse the chain of command so was unsure how they had ended up in a position to speak with him. 

"Well, someone had to keep an eye on him while you were away. Didn't think you'd want some upstart trying to get into his graces."

"You've been acting as his aide-de-camp?" Ben can’t imagine that going especially well given their usual blunt attitude but then again Arnold didn’t really stand on ceremony.

"Sure, like I said, I wasn't going to let someone else try to fill your shoes. Why? You didn't think I was capable of it? I might not have a Yale education but I can fetch and carry messages fine."

Ben shakes his head, and pushes his concern away, it’s hardly relevant now. "Is he still in the same hut?"

They shake their head. "No, he's moved up in the world. Got a real house now. Come on, I'll take you there."

Ben collects his packs and follows them across the camp. The layout is no longer familiar, seems to have grown in the month he's been away, and Ben isn't certain he'll find his way back. Hopefully it will be easier in daylight, since he doesn’t plan to be returning tonight. The expanded camp now incorporates several local farmhouses, like the one Washington and his aides have been using since the early days, and it is one of those Pol leads him to now.

It is smaller than the Potts house, and Pol explains they had overheard the farmer's name mentioned and thought it sounded familiar. When he had turned out to be their mother's cousin, they had helped make the arrangements to rent their property to the army. Arnold is the only officer lodged there currently, as the Frenchman who had been sharing the house has been called back to Boston, and Pol has been sleeping alone in the attic room. They walk on in and Ben is briefly introduced to John and Sarah Myers; they tell him General Arnold has retired for the night but Pol says he will likely be sitting up writing and to go on up.

He leaves his bags in the hall and takes the stairs slowly, not wanting to wake Arnold if he is already asleep but there is a sliver of light under the door and he hopes he is still awake. He knocks twice and waits until Arnold gives him permission to enter.

He slips into the room without speaking, his heart racing, palms damp. Arnold is seated at his camp desk, with his back to the door and Ben takes a moment to look at him. Arnold only turns when he hears the door clunk shut and the look of surprised delight on his face washes away any concerns Ben had.

"Benjamin... Is it really you?" he struggles to his feet and, as he takes a couple of limping steps towards him, it is clear while his leg may be better it is still troubling him. Ben can no longer stand the distance between them and meets him in the centre of the room.

There is probably a lot of actual news to catch up on but this is not the time for it. Their embrace is passionate, Ben yielding to Benedict's demanding kiss. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this until he was here in Benedict's arms and for long moments they are lost in each other's presence.

When the first rush of their reunion is passed, Ben remembers his parcel in the hall. "I have something for you."

"I can show you something I have for you, Benjamin," Arnold says, pulling Ben's hips flush against his.

Ben feels his face heat as feels the evidence of his interest but he will not let himself be distracted or his bags will sit there all night. "I brought you back something from Boston. Let me get it?"

Benedict reluctantly releases him and Ben hurries back down the stairs to collect his belongings.

Ben had spent much of his free time in Boston wandering around the markets, searching for a gift to equal those Benedict had given him. He hadn't known exactly what he was looking for, just that he would know when he saw it. It needed to be something practical but not too ordinary, something Benedict would be able to think of him when he used it. He didn't have a lot of money, but Caleb had left him items to barter with. 

Still it wasn't until nearly his last night in the city that he found what he had been searching for. There is little hope of disguising it so it is only loosely wrapped in a plain cloth. His heart is racing as he passes it to Benedict, even now unsure what his reaction will be. He had hesitated, fearing Benedict might take offense at the idea that he needs a walking stick, even if it is true but it was too perfect to turn away - a full length sword, gold-handled, inside a metal-tipped malacca wood cane. He evidently needn't have worried, the slight frown on seeing the bundle vanishes into an expression of delight as Benedict examines it and finds the concealed blade.

"This is amazing. Benjamin, you didn't have to," he says, pulling him down to sit beside him on the bed.

Ben blushes at the praise. "I wanted to," he replies. "I wanted to do something for you."

"You do so much for me already." Benedict's voice always sends thrills through it when it is low like this, just the two of them. Ben shudders as he is pulled closer, Benedict's hands in his hair, tilting his head back, his lips on his jaw.

"I need to sleep," he protests, already he is struggling to keep his eyes open now he is finally warm and comfortable.

"So sleep here," Benedict says.

"I'm not sure how much sleep you're going to let me get."

Benedict laughs softly. "You've been gone a month, Benjamin, I've missed you." Then, almost hesitantly, "Won't you stay?"

He probably shouldn't, there is only the one bed in here and no lock on the door but when he asks like that. Besides Ben trusts Pol, knows they will cover for him. "Let me just put my things in the other room. I'll come back," he promises

Standing in the hallway he can still hear muffled voices from downstairs. He climbs the narrow stairs to the attic room; the ceiling is low enough that he cannot stand upright and there are three cots, one made up, one with folded blankets at the foot and the third empty. He drops his pack onto the empty one, leaving his jacket besides it but doesn’t bother unpacking any further.

By the time he returns, Benedict has readied himself for bed and Ben curls into his side, enjoying his warmth and the strong arms wrapped around him. Sleeping on a real bed feels like a luxury after so many months of campaign cots and especially after a week of travelling, sleeping on the cold ground but it is the feeling of safety he really appreciates; in Boston he hadn't been able to truly relax. 

As an officer he had been considered lucky to get a cot squeezed into a room with three others but he would rather have shared with his Dragoons, even if it had meant sleeping on the floor, at least he would have felt safe around them. Still, the cold had a good enough excuse to go to bed fully dressed, and he wasn't the only one doing so, and if it was uncomfortable to sleep like that then at least it had been an incentive to head out every morning. But now he was back and could put it behind him.

The next morning Ben rises early and creeps up the stairs to wash and dress in the attic room; Pol is fast asleep and doesn't even stir until he is nearly done. He is invited to share breakfast with the family then heads back to catch up with Caleb and apologise for not greeting him the night before. 

Caleb brushes off the apology to tell him about his adventures with some relish; how much he had enjoyed piloting the Turtle, stealing a Redcoat’s uniform and disguising himself to get into the prison to see Abe. He complains about their friend's stubborn refusal to come with him, to give up on Culper and his insistence that Caleb should speak to Robert Townsend. He is even less enthused in describing that meeting; Townsend and his reluctant acceptance of the ink and reagent hadn’t made the best impression.

Ben takes it all in, disappointed that it didn't work out with Townsend, and is about to turn the discussion to his concerns about Abe when he spots the twinkle in Caleb's eyes. "What is it, what's happened since?" he demands. "Caleb, what aren't you saying?"

Caleb holds out a letter with a smile. Ben takes it, and begins to read. It is dated the beginning of March, in Anna's hand; she explains about Simcoe's raid, how he had informed her of Hewlett's death but then how Hewlett had reappeared and the tale of his escape. Then she gives them the good news, how Hewlett had arranged for Abe's release, never suspecting anything untoward, and finally enclosing a letter from Townsend confirming that he will help them after all. 

Ben can hardly believe it. The long months of fearing he had sent his friend to his death are over. Of course, clearly Abe cannot return to New York now but if Townsend means what he says then they have a even better source of information in him. 

Caleb explains that he has been watching out for Anna's signal since but there has been no sign yet. There is no question that he will continue to act as their courier. The difficulty will be in passing any intelligence Townsend is able to provide onto Washington, in assuring him of its veracity, if he will not see Ben in person. He cannot and will not give up Abe's identity to anyone else and Townsend has demanded the same assurance.

Caleb favors a direct approach but Ben cannot insist on being seen and, without knowing if he has been replaced, Ben is cautious about approaching any of Washington's aides. Once again, Ben wishes he could take Arnold into his confidence on this but he made Abe a promise.

They have also heard nothing from Abigail, since that information would also need to come through Anna. Ben knows at the very least he must find out who has taken over handling intelligence from Philadelphia since Major Clark's retirement to try to provide her with a direct route for getting word to them.

Although they do not reach any conclusion, Ben returns to the Myers house to catch up officially with General Arnold. As well as telling him what Ben learned in Boston, he passes on the news that Conway's resignation was accepted by Congress earlier in the month.

Arnold counters that it doesn't seem to have stopped Gates and Lee's scheming; they have almost driven him to the point of demanding a duel with the aspersions they keep casting. He also talks about Von Steuben, who Washington has appointed temporary Inspector General; how the man had been horrified at their lack of sanitation here, that he was responsible for establishing the new camp layout with the kitchens and latrines as far apart from each other as possible.

Ben asks about his drill routine, he has heard Von Steuben is training an honor guard for Washington, and Arnold tells him about the spectacle of the German officer, in full military dress, swearing at the soldiers in multiple languages, none of them English. However, his training not only appears successful for those he has taught personally but is also filtering down through the troops as they take the training back to their brigades and regiments.

He didn't mention the court-martial Ben had missed so he doesn't learns about Enslin's dismissal until days later when he hears Bradford sneering about how Washington was too soft to hang the man as he deserved and making snide comments about Captain Walker, who has recently been appointed Von Steuben's aide-de-camp, as well Washington's aides about what duties they believe are involved in the role.

Remembering Bradford's cowardly retraction at Christmas, Ben takes pleasure in warning him his words would be cause for a challenge if heard by those he is accusing. Bradford pales at the threat, but clearly can't hold his tongue and suggests Ben wouldn't understand as the cripple is the only officer who would take him on as an aide. Fortunately, Arnold's popularity is such that Ben is not the only one defending him and they don't end up brawling again.

Caleb continues checking for Anna's signal and towards the end of the month they discover their patience has paid off. He returns with a letter from Abe with his own, now outdated, intelligence from New York and, enclosed with it, their first real intelligence from Townsend. It isn't much, more rumor and hearsay from the officers visiting his business than hard numbers but every fragment of information helps when putting together the bigger picture.

Washington still refuses to speak to Ben directly and, though it is discouraging, he will not give up. At least he knows from the letter he recovered in Connecticut that the commander hadn't lost faith in Culper completely, so surely he will not turn his information aside. 

Ben ends up approaching Hamilton late one evening when the other aides have retired for the night. They have spoken before on this matter so Ben doesn't need to prevaricate before letting him know he has heard from one of their friends in New York. Hamilton promises he will get the information to Washington and sympathises about their commander’s intransigence. 

Ben ends up staying longer than planned and the house is dark when he gets back. He knows Benedict would never ask where he has been but somehow that makes it worse, he feels guilty that he can’t talk about any of this with him and ends up sleeping in his seldom used cot in the attic. 

It is difficult to be intimate in the close quarters of the Myers house however much Pol assures him their cousins are discreet but they find what privacy they can. As the days get warmer, Ben encourages Arnold to come riding with him and, while he still has some stiffness mounting and dismounting, he is much recovered and hopes for a new field command when they move from winter quarters, which can't be far off now.

The Marquis de Lafayette returns to Valley Forge in late April and within hours the whole camp is buzzing with rumors that the French have signed a treaty of alliance. Of course, there are other nastier rumors spreading too, based on Lafayette's European style greeting to their commander. Ben hadn't seen it for himself but he hears plenty about it from Bradford.

It isn't long before the alliance is official; France will be sending them aid. They have yet to declare war on England but rumor says it is only a matter of time. A celebration is held, organised by Baron Von Steuben, newly confirmed as Inspector General of the army by Congress, with parade drills and gun salutes.

The commanding officers are led around the camp on horseback to watch these displays. Ben would have liked to ride alongside Arnold but he is needed with the Dragoons. He is relieved at dusk to dress for the officers' dinner and arrives in time to see Benedict struggling to dismount; no doubt his leg has grown stiff after several hours in the saddle, even if most of it has been sitting still. Ben knows he can't be seen to help him, it would be showing weakness, but he wishes there was something he could do.

At the dinner he keeps an eye on Arnold, remembering how he'd got after the meal at Christmas. At one point Arnold catches him watching and gives him a warm look, resting a hand casually on the grip of his walking stick. Ben flushes at that, as open an acknowledgement of their liaison as is possible, and forces himself to focus on the conversation going on at his own table.

After dinner they retire for drinks, officers of different ranks mingle, and the alcohol flows. Ben keeps a careful distance, laughs when everyone else does and pretends he is having a good time. Meanwhile Lafayette is practically sitting in Washington’s lap, with an arm over his shoulder. Von Steuben seems to find it hilarious, when he is even paying them any attention rather than watching Captain Walker and his secretary, Du Ponceau, blatantly flirting with his new favorite, William North. The pinched looks Lee and Gates are giving them all would be entertaining if it were not for the way Arnold appears to be steadily working up a temper.

As the celebration breaks up, Ben finds his way to Arnold's side, careful to present a professional demeanor as he asks if he is ready to return to his quarters. Although he is usually quite steady on his feet by now, especially with the assistance of his walking stick, Arnold leans on him heavily, forcing Ben to move closer to support his weight. By the time they get back to the Myers house, Arnold has eased up but he can barely wait until they are in his room before letting his anger go.

"Damn them. Damn them both. How dare they expect us all to turn a blind eye when they are practically indecent. Washington especially flaunting his indulgences with his wife still in this very camp."

Ben tries to deflect his wrath. He has heard the Marquis calling Washington ‘Papa’ so he very much hopes there is nothing of that nature going on between them. "You don't know it is anything more than European sensibilities being different to ours."

"Well damn them and their European sensibilities. You've heard the rumors about Von Steuben, the same as I have, you can't convince me there is nothing going on between him and those pretty boys he keeps around."

Ben shrugs. He cannot say he isn't jealous of the way they can show affection in public but then he would also rather not be on the receiving end of the kind of comments which he hears about them regularly.

Indeed the next day Ben again overhears Bradford discussing in which bed Lafayette spent the night and how Washington can best use the Marquis’ skills. It is only by reminding himself that such an action is hardly going to redeem him in Washington's eyes that he manages not to punch Bradford in his smug mouth. That and the way he quickly shuts up when another of Washington’s aides wanders close.

Given Bradford’s tendency to avoid saying such things in front of the people he's accusing, it almost makes Ben wonder what he might be saying about him or Arnold behind their backs but he feels Bradford would probably make an exception for him. Then again, Lee appears convinced that Arnold is lacking in honor so perhaps he doesn't believe it worthwhile.

Whether Washington has taken notice of the rumors or not, shortly afterwards Lafayette leads out a force to investigate the situation of the British. Again, his faith in the Frenchman proves justified as, despite being practically encircled by the British forces at Barren Hill, he escapes with minimal losses. But Washington still needs to achieve the same kind of success under his own command to silence the rumors for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, timelines - S2.08 is either a horrible mess of events happening in parallel which couldn't plausibly happen consecutively or else the British evacuation of Philadelphia and the celebration of the French alliance have been moved up dramatically. For instance, it makes no sense that when Caleb arrives at Monmouth it is the first time Ben's seen him since he went off to rescue Abe from New York. Even using my assumption that S2.07 occurs in late February and Caleb then takes several weeks to make his own way back, there are still the best part of two months before the alliance celebration which historically took place on May 6. Weirdly Andre and Rogers' conversation is almost accurate timewise. If we take it as late April/May when the British start planning their evacuation from Philadelphia, 4 months since Major Andre got a letter from London would be December/ January which is a perfectly reasonable travel time. Of course, what Rogers has been doing in the four months since retrieving the seal is another question entirely.
> 
> I've tried my best to untangle events to fit back to the historic timeline, and then backfill the resulting plotholes but I can't guarantee I've been successful.
> 
> Since I can't buy Abe managing to put off Hewlett for four months over his final report to happen concurrently to/after Monmouth, I'm having to diverge from the series canon on this point. Hewlett collects Abe's final report in March/April but due to the news of the French alliance and then the evacuation of Philadelphia, doesn't end up sending it to Andre until after he returns to New York in June. In the meantime, Abe receives the first of Townsend's letters. This chapter ends with the Battle of Barren Hill on May 20.


	9. Chapter 9

Following the mixed success of Lafayette's venture, it is clear that their time at Valley Forge is coming to an end. The winter is over and hostilities will be shortly starting again in full. While there is still talk of an attack on New York, it is clear they desperately need more intelligence from Philadelphia.

Hamilton approaches Ben privately, telling him Washington's attitude has softened since the letter arrived from Townsend but he is still avoiding any conversation about the future of their intelligence division.

Ben understands why Washington would still be disappointed with him over the incident with Culper and they have had less need of an active spy network over the winter but it still needs someone to oversee it.

Hamilton is aware of the network set up by Major Clark within the city and it is still running but it is getting harder for couriers to get to the Continental forces with the British on high alert. He tells Ben he has fairly wide authority to act on Washington's behalf and he isn't afraid to do what is necessary, even without direct approval.

He then suggests that one or more of Ben's Dragoons might be able to get into Philadelphia to make contact with their network on the guise of having family in the city and perhaps not being the sort of person expected of a spy, since he knows, "At least some of them are not quite what they appear."

Though he hasn't specifically included Ben in that, he feels uneasy under that penetrating gaze. He tries to hide his discomfort, as he agrees to try to find a suitable volunteer, then makes his excuses to leave. It is a far closer call than he is happy with. 

Ben goes to Pol first, since he knows if he went to Caleb, he would insist on going himself and he is needed to watch out for Anna or Abe's signal. Plus the room they allegedly share at the Myers' house is more secure than anywhere else within the camp.

"I need to send someone into Philadelphia to meet up with a contact there," he explains quietly. "Any suggestions?"

"I can do it, I have family in the city," they say. "I could even visit them while I'm there."

"And you'd be happy moving around the city in a dress?" He knows there's no way he could do it, no matter how good a disguise it would make and he feels guilty asking them to do something he wouldn't.

"It wouldn't be the worst thing I've done," they shrug, but their expression makes their distaste of the idea clear.

Ben shakes his head. "No, I can't ask you to do it. Maybe if it was the only option... but it's not."

Pol looks relieved but frowns. "Who else did you have in mind? Frankie?"

"Perhaps." Frances, otherwise known as Frankie, had planned to join her sweetheart at their winter quarters last year but then he had been killed in the retreat from Trenton and she had taken up his rifle. "I know she wouldn't mind but I'd be worried about her being there on her own. Or I was thinking of Cesar."

"Would that be safe for him?" Pol asks. Cesar is a freedman, but he has been willing to pretend to be a slave before to distract Tory patrols, so might be willing to use that as a pretext. And they know the British won't look too closely at an apparent slave, assuming they don't have the capacity to be a spy, which is after all how Hamilton’s friend in New York passes on his intelligence.

"I think the British will take less notice of him wandering the city than of a young woman on her own," he says.

"That's probably true enough." Pol looks thoughtful. "Does he know anyone in the city?"

"Not that I'm aware of." As far as he knows all Cesar's family are in New York, where he joined the army. “But then neither does Frankie.”

"Well, they could take a letter to my sister. I’m sure she'd be happy to look after a friend of mine for a few days."

Ben gives the options to Hamilton, without naming names, and leaves it to him to make the decision. He chooses Cesar, who leaves a couple of days later with falsified paperwork and specific instructions on how to contact their existing network and, if possible without giving her away to Andre, Abigail.

Over the course of May, ceremonies are held for all officers to take their oaths of allegiance to the United States of America. It is towards the end of the month when Arnold is called to Artillery Park for his. That evening Arnold is disgruntled that his oath was witnessed by General Knox rather than Washington personally, when he had witnessed Lee’s amongst others. Given Ben had heard how Lee had been reluctant to take the oath, he would like to suspect Washington had chosen to witness it deliberately. If nothing else, he had to be glad he wasn't ignoring their warnings completely.

Still, they have the house to themselves for a couple of hours and he doesn't want to waste the opportunity. "Do you really want to spend our evening talking about Washington?"

Benedict stops and turns towards him. "We did have other plans, didn't we?" he says, voice low and his gaze is hungry. 

Ben still isn't used to being the object of such desire and he shudders as looks away, feeling his face heat. At least he has distracted him but now he bears the full weight of his attention.

Benedict closes the distance between them and kisses him deeply. His mouth is hot and Ben feels too warm even though he is already down to just his shirt and waistcoat.

It feels wrong to undress while it is still light outside and Ben feels more vulnerable without the flickering of the candles to conceal his nervousness but Benedict is only ever appreciative of him and his self-consciousness is soon forgotten.

They daren’t take their time, in case their hosts return unexpectedly, but they make the most of the brief privacy and when they hear the Myers' return, Ben is recovered enough to redress decently and check in with them.

In early June Washington summons Arnold and he leaves confident but returns about an hour later in a foul temper. 

Ben looks up from his writing desk as Arnold flings his stick across the room. "What's the matter?"

"Washington is assigning me the military command of Philadelphia," Arnold growls.

He gives him a quizzical look. "Isn't that a good thing? It sounds like a promotion, clearing out the capital."

"He's expecting the British to leave without a fight," he spits. "And the task of pursuing them is being left to the army in the field. He's sending me to do a desk job."

"But that's... Why?" That can't be right. Why would Washington sideline one of his best field commanders like that?

"Washington says he's giving me more time to recovery from my injury." Arnold is scathing about the excuse and, while Ben knows there is some truth to the suggestion that he isn’t yet fully recovered, he also knows better than to suggest it makes him any less capable in command. He sees Arnold interacting with soldiers daily and if anything they seem encouraged by his continued presence despite an injury which would have crippled a lesser man.

He tries to calm Arnold down, "Are you certain it is intended as an administrative role only? Which units are to accompany you?"

Arnold frowns at him. "It wasn't discussed. I assume you will, of course."

Ben is thrown by the assumption. “I hadn’t considered that,” he equivocates. If anything he had been expecting Arnold would be given a field command where he could base his Dragoons from, but their usual patrol routes are through lower Connecticut and upper New Jersey, and Philadelphia is too far south to use as a base. “I have responsibilities in the Dragoons,” he begins, trying to explain.

"So you would abandon me too?” 

He knows Arnold is hurt by Washington's decision but his accusation stings. "Don't be ridiculous,” he says, shaking his head. “I'm hardly abandoning you to do my job."

"Ridiculous? You don't understand what it does to a man to be pushed aside like this. Where is the honor in hiding behind a desk?"

Arnold continues to rant but Ben feels cold and there is blood rushing in his ears. He doesn't think Arnold even realizes what he said but somehow that makes it worse. Does he really believe Ben cannot understand _how a man would feel_? He wants to argue but there is a lump in his throat and, if Arnold does mean that, tears will not convince him otherwise.

He finds himself on his feet, though he is shaking. His expression must convey something of his turmoil as Arnold falls silent. "Benjamin?" he asks, his anger fading away into confusion. 

"It's fine," Ben manages to force out. Perhaps he is over-reacting but he cannot handle this conversation. He stumbles to the door and walks out, ignoring the way Arnold calls after him. 

For a moment he fears he is following and is determined to ignore him, the last thing he wants is to cause a scene, but when he looks back it is just Pol. "What was that about?" they ask.

Ben shakes his head, he isn’t ready to talk about it. He remembers Caleb telling him a small group of Dragoons are due to leave camp for a couple of days on a scouting excursion and that sounds like just the thing to clear his head.

Pol follows as Ben collects his horse and tack, then as he joins the patrol group without a word. Caleb looks between them as though he is about to crack a joke but Pol frowns at them and he turns away.

When it is clear he intends to just leave, Pol grabs for Ben’s reins and he relents. "I presume you will be able to assist General Arnold in my absence," he grinds out.

They give him a hard look and he doesn't know what they see but finally they nod and let him go.

Caleb has the sense not to challenge him about it until they are alone. Instead he chats about the reason for their trip, they have had heard that British raiding parties are collecting provisions from the local area to support their retreat from Philadelphia. Anything they can deny them will be a victory, doubly so if they can kill or capture their soldiers in the process. 

The ride is uneventful and Ben feels his equilibrium return with every beat of the horse's hooves. He has missed this and it is hard to hold onto negative thoughts with the birds singing and sun beating down on them. By the time they make camp for the night, Ben feels ready to speak to his friend and seeks him out with their rations.

"You're done with avoiding me now?" Caleb asks.

"It's not you I'm avoiding," Ben says, sitting down beside him. "I'm here, aren't I?"

Caleb looks him over critically. "Is it Arnold? I told you to be careful there. What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything," Ben can't help but sound defensive.

The look Caleb gives him is sceptical. "If he didn't do anything, why are you avoiding him?"

Because I'm afraid, he wants to say, that he's going to realize I'm not worth it. But Caleb would just insist on arguing why he's wrong and he doesn't want to talk about it. Instead he takes a deep breath. "He said something hurtful and..." he hesitates, but he can be man enough to admit when he is wrong, "I think I over-reacted."

Caleb looks like he wants to demand to know exactly what was said, then visibly relaxes, shaking his head fondly. "You always did take everything so seriously, Benny-boy."

The familiar nickname and tone ease him further. Ben leans into Caleb's side and his friend puts an arm around his shoulders. "I don't know what to do," he admits. Washington is still ignoring me, Benedict wants me to go to Philadelphia with him."

"Oh, it's _Benedict_ now, is it?"

Ben swallows hard, he is usually careful to refer to Arnold formally in public but that had just slipped out. "What am I doing?" he asks.

Caleb laughs but it is affectionate rather than cold. "What the rest of us do, Tall-boy, making it up as we go along."

The days that follow are clear and bright and they ride their circuit without encountering any enemy forces. Ben is glad to be away from camp when he realizes his courses have come and wonders if that explains his reaction to Benedict’s words; he often finds himself more emotional at this time. At least the constant riding, whether the movement or the exertion, eases the cramps.

They are on their way back, supposed to be some miles away from the British position when they round a bend and see the greencoats of the Tory militia. Unfortunately, the Tories have seen them too and outnumber them though they are on foot. Still, they are well armed with their rifles and there is no cover.

The Dragoons fall back, taking fire and returning it. Fortunately the distance works in their favor and the Tories can’t close with the Dragoons since they can shoot and reload from horseback as they retreat.

It is a relief to make it safely back to the camp but Ben is less sure of his welcome at the Myers house. Pol warns Ben that Arnold is in an ill-temper but the moment he realizes it is him, his scowl falls away. Arnold reaches out to him then hesitates so though unsure it will be accepted.

Ben wishes they could avoid this conversation and have things return to how they were but Arnold is equally stubborn and insists on getting to the bottom of it. When Ben reluctantly explains what he had said that had upset him, Benedict is desperately apologetic, assuring him that wasn't what he had meant.

Cesar returns from Philadelphia with military information having managed to make contact with Major Clark’s network and also had been able to speak with Abigail and get the private information he had asked them to seek out. She has provided intimate details of his councils, with Gamble, with Robert Rogers, and it seems he was right to be concerned about Miss Shippen's letters since it appears she is very closely associated with Major André.

Ben brings the news about Peggy Shippen's loyalties to Arnold and he is surprised when he reacts with anger that he has even investigated her. "You only did it because you're jealous," he accuses.

"I'm not jealous, you told me I didn't need to be," Ben says, hurt. "I did it because I'm worried for you. She may not even realize she is being used but Major André is shrewd."

"I thought Washington had dismissed you from intelligence work but here it seems you are still doing it for him anyway."

"Which you agreed with when it was about Lee and Gates but not when it affects you."

"It's not the same thing."

"It is the same if André is using Shippen as a cat's paw, the same as Lee."

Arnold shakes his head but changes the subject, conceding the point. “Well, Washington must know what you are still doing. Is he deliberately trying to separate us? He must have realized you would refuse to come with me to Philadelphia.”

Washington certainly must be aware that Ben is still trying to manage Culper, even if Hamilton hasn’t shared anything else with him, but he would hope he doesn’t have any reason to think further about his connection with Arnold. “I doubt he was thinking about me when he gave you your orders,” he says.

“Who know what have Gates and Lee said to him."

"If they are behind it, it is likely on André’s orders, which is all the more reason you should be careful and I need to stay here to stop them taking advantage of his plans," Ben insists. None of the intelligence from Philadelphia has helped with progress on getting evidence against Lee but his behaviour, and that of Bradford, is becoming erratic. 

The whole camp knows their commanders intend there to be a battle between their forces and the evacuating British regulars but, caught up in preparing for Arnold's departure to Philadelphia, Ben misses out on most of the tactical discussion, only aware that small groups of Dragoons have been sent out to assess the terrain and identify advantageous positions for their forces.

Ben overhears a conversation between Washington's aides-de-camp that he is intending to offer command to Lafayette as Lee appears uninterested in attacking. The young French general has several victories under his belt now but is untested in what is likely to be a major action.

Arnold makes his final preparations to depart for Philadelphia and Pol passes on details of their family in the city, suggesting he will need a trusted housekeeper.

As the army prepares to leave Valley Forge, Ben and Arnold have to make their goodbyes. Their last night together is emotional and Ben finds himself overcome with the need to feel him close.

They lie together afterwards talking softly, the morning will come soon enough and they are not ready to part. They do not know when, or even if they will see each other again. 

“You can come and visit me in Philadelphia,” Benedict says. “Just think of having a house to ourselves.”

“If I can, I will,” Ben promises. “And you will have to write me.”

The conversation eventually turns to how to proceed with Peggy Shippen. In the letters she and Benedict have exchanged over the winter she sounds like nothing more than the infatuated young woman she appears to be but then Major André has already proved himself very cunning with his setup of Sutherland’s infiltration plot and they have no way of knowing if he is behind the letters or not.

“There are bound to be British sympathizers still in the city. Perhaps it is another attempted assassination,” Benedict suggests.

“With you as the target?” It would be a major coup for the British but Ben fears André has something bigger planned. “It would be a blow to our troops’ morale if… if you were to suffer any accident…” He can’t bring himself to speak of Benedict’s death, it feels too much like tempting fate.

“I’ll be careful,” Benedict promises.

“Maybe it would be best for you to go along with this... romance,” Ben suggests, trying to lay a course in his mind. “If she is in André’s pocket, the closer you can get to her the better.”

Benedict raises an eyebrow. “I thought you would be the last person to suggest that.” He shakes his head. “Besides, I shall hardly have time for courting. We are in the middle of a war.” 

“You were the one who said it was a empty posting,” he says. “I just want us both to survive this war. And a courtship should give you plenty of opportunity to determine her true motive.”

After Arnold leaves with his troops to retake Philadelphia, the army leaves Valley Forge and Ben sends Caleb to Setauket. He is reluctant to leave Ben in the camp alone but they need Townsend's intelligence now more than ever.

Ben returns to trying to reconcile with Washington. After a command team meeting, and another refusal by Washington to speak with him, Billy Lee pulls Ben aside to share his concerns about how Lee has unexpectedly just apologised to Washington and been given command of half the army.

Knowing he cannot allow Lee to carry out whatever his plan is unchallenged Ben volunteers his Dragoons to ensure he has a chance to derail it. Bradford gives him a considering look. "I knew you were a glory hound, Tallmadge," he sneers. "Just like that fool Arnold."

His jaw aches from holding back the response he wants to give. Better for Bradford to think him desperate for battlefield glory than to guess at his real intentions and he has no more place defending Arnold's honor than Washington's, as much as it burns him to let it go. Besides he doesn't want to give Bradford more ammunition to suspect there is something between them - he has heard too many barbed comments about the duties of an aide-de-camp, for all the words were aimed at Washington and Von Steuben and their retinues of young, pretty aides, and especially Lafayette.

Of course, even if it had been directed at him, he couldn't have called Bradford out. Brawling is below their dignity, and Bradford wouldn't resort to that again after losing. Duelling, though technically illegal, happens not infrequently - or at least the initial challenges do - but Ben can't take the risk of being injured.

He'd been lucky after the incident with Rogers' Rangers that the wound had been so shallow and the surgeon one familiar with his particular circumstances. Having to face General Scott before he could dress had been daunting but fortunately Scott either lacked much in the way of imagination or had chosen to turn a blind eye and had accepted the bandages around his chest as a medical requirement and not questioned it.

But Bradford is still staring at him challengingly so he inclines his head, swallows down his pride - this is for Washington's sake, for the balance of the whole war - and says, "I know we've had our differences in the past, Bradford," and what an understatement that is, "and I apologise for any disrespect I may have shown to you or General Lee."

If Bradford suspects any insincerity in his apology it can be no worse than that Lee offered Washington and Ben is confident will not want to push that comparison. Indeed, the other man looks as though he has tasted something unpleasant but doesn't interrupt as Ben continues, "Now we can put that behind us and band together to fight the real enemy... King George's footmen."

He needs to know if Bradford is a party to Lee's treachery or simply following orders but the Major's expression doesn't give anything away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By using the historical dates for events I have thrown out the episode timelines as they appear to contradict themselves (having Akinbode and Cicero set out for New York well before Andre himself is back there). Due to the way I have chosen to untangle the plot threads, this chapter contains a mixture of events from 2.08 and 2.09. Since the Patriots retook Philadelphia on June 19, I have set Arnold and Washington's conversation in the first week of June.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last proper chapter of this story, though there will be an epilogue and a sequel. I'm waiting to see what AMC are doing with the timelines for S3 before I decided where I'm going next but hopefully it should be interesting...

Preparations for battle will now begin in earnest. After this final strategy meeting, Ben leaves the tent behind General Lee and Bradford, who has somehow managed to get promoted to Colonel, and sees Washington watching but he still refuses to acknowledge his presence. One of his aides-de-camp, Laurens, glares at Lee but Hamilton nudges him with an elbow and looks over at Ben who nods in response. He isn't going to let Lee get away with betraying their cause, whatever it takes.

He goes to tell his Dragoons they will be leaving first thing in the morning and to get an early night. He makes no mention of his concerns about Lee; he won't risk getting them caught up in the politics of it. Pol frowns at him, before they pass him a letter, addressed in Arnold's sweeping hand.

Ben tries not to look too eager to receive it and retires to his tent. He smiles at the opening, "My dear friend," which is fond yet not so overly familiar as to arouse suspicion if their correspondence was intercepted.

He imagines Benedict's low voice as he reads about their arrival in the capital, and how their initial sweep shows that the British forces and their Tory allies do appear to have left for good; can almost hear his disgust as he writes how they have done their best to strip the city of any resources the Continental Army could use. 

As the letter tells him how Benedict has temporarily moved into the Franklin house, although he only mentions in passing it was where André had stayed, Ben feels warm knowing he was thinking of him. The descriptions of the house, and particularly the bed are written as though to make him jealous of the luxury but he easily can think of being there with him.

The letter goes on to describe the attitudes of the people of Philadelphia; that they seem positive about the Continental forces and, understandably, there is a lot of anger towards those who had benefitted from the British occupation or are considered sympathizers. This had conveniently led to the official renewal of his acquaintance with Peggy Shippen, in giving him the opportunity to draw a crowd of protesters away from her family's carriage.

Benedict goes on to tell him how she had come to see him in the grounds of the house, entirely unchaperoned. Though he doesn’t say anything directly, Ben can follow his thought process. It could be taken as enthusiasm, as the strength of her feelings towards him, but a young woman of her upbringing ought to know better. Does she perhaps intend to accuse him of dishonoring her? It might be a more effective attack than an actual assassination. Benedict also mentions, as though as an aside, her instinctive defense of André when he had accused the British officer of stealing valuable artifacts from the house, which seems to confirm her association with him. 

Then Benedict describes with evident confusion how their conversation had escalated. The tone of bewilderment continues as he explains he isn't entirely sure how they got to that point so quickly and, in the guise of asking a friend for advice, is clearly seeking Ben's thoughts on how to proceed. Should he ask her father for her hand in marriage, which he will surely refuse, or should he prolong the courtship? 

Ben doesn't know how to respond, Benedict is not good with subtlety, which is probably why he has so little regard for intelligence work. He would be a terrible spy, so the heavy-handed handling of the matter shouldn't surprise him, but the way Shippen has gone along with it does. Ben wishes he could talk to her for himself but fears that would raise her suspicions and, if she is still in contact with Andre, could cause him to rethink his plans and leave them on the back foot again. 

He puts the letter aside to reply to after the battle, assuming he survives, but finds he is too agitated to sleep. Caleb hasn't yet returned from Setauket and with Arnold in Philadelphia he has no-one to distract him from his concerns about the forthcoming battle. He tosses and turns in his bedroll, listening to the sounds of the camp but eventually gives up and goes to the picket to check on the horses. 

He finds Pol already there, presumably on watch. "Couldn't sleep?"

He nods, wrapping his cloak around him and hoping they don’t want to talk. He isn’t that lucky. 

"So, what's going on with Lee?" they ask.

"I don't know what you mean." Even as he says it, he knows the denial is futile and indeed, they don’t hesitate to call him on it.

"Don't give me that. I know Arnold can't stand the man and at first I thought you were just following his lead. Or it was that prick Bradford winding you up again. But it's more than that, isn't it?"

Ben looks around before answering, steps closer, he cannot risk them being overheard. "We believe General Lee is a traitor," he says, as softly as he can, "that he is in league with the British."

They raise both eyebrows. "Right, yeah, that's not the kind of thing you want to spread around."

"Exactly.” He hesitates but it would be pointless not to tell them the whole thing now. “I'm afraid his intentions for the battle are not in the best interest of our forces."

They narrow their eyes at him. "You think he intends to.. what? Surrender? Turn on our own side?"

"I don't _know_ ," Ben says. He feels helpless, the whole situation out of his control.

Pol huffs at him and shakes their head. "So what do you _suspect_?"

He leans into the warm flank of his horse and closes his eyes, trying to focus. "There are a few possibilities," he says eventually, looking back up at them. "Surrender is one of them, but I think that's fairly unlikely."

"Well, what do we need to look out for then?"

This is exactly why he didn’t want to say anything. "You don't need to be involved in this at all," he tries.

"But Brewster does?” He can’t deny that either. “Look, for better or worse, I'm here now. Let me help."

They are right and so he gives in. They discuss the worst case scenarios of Lee's possible treachery, how to protect their people if it comes to it, if there is any way they can alert Washington or his aides when the time comes.

It is soon light and the day is already warm as they ride out towards Monmouth Courthouse. Ben watches Lee and Bradford carefully as they move and is sure they are up to something. It is suspicious that Lee should have accurate numbers for the British forces and yet not know where Cornwallis' column is, though perhaps his scouts are just incompetent. 

He is even more certain of their duplicity when the Dragoons are assigned to the vanguard. On the one hand it is a logical place for them and could be considered an honor; on the other, it would be really convenient for them if they want him dead. Ben doesn't intend to give them that satisfaction.

Initially, as they are getting into position, Lee's orders, while questionable are not enough to call him out. However it quickly becomes apparent that the British are not surprised by their supposed ambush, in fact they seemed well prepared for their arrival and the Dragoons are left very exposed without any artillery support.

It is clear Lee has marched them into another trap and Ben is angry at Lee, how dare he treat him and his Dragoons as expendable. He has to fight memories of the massacre at the hands of Roger's Rangers. This isn't the same: there are other units on their flank and rest of the army is not that far behind, but it may not be enough to make the difference.

Ben wishes he had Arnold’s grasp of tactics to turn the battle around, or even Arnold himself here. But then they’d have never reached this situation with a competent general leading them. Ben wonders again what Washington was thinking.

His emotions are mixed when Caleb arrives with a letter from Townsend. He is glad to see his friend, there is no-one he would rather have fighting at his side, but he would rather have the peace of mind of knowing he was safe. He skims the contents of the letter, which warns of a planned assassination attempt on Washington after the battle. Bradford's involvement comes as no surprise but some of the other names are unexpected.

As it becomes clear that their positions are untenable, several units start to pull back. They are withdrawing in reasonably good order despite a push from the British rear guard when Lee suddenly orders a retreat which makes no sense unless he is following orders from the British. If they fall back too quickly it will turn into a rout and they will be cut down. Ben tries to get his Dragoons at least to stand fast, hold the line until reinforcements arrive, but it is to no avail against the orders of Lee's men.

As planned, he sends Pol to find one of Washington's aides while he goes to face Lee down in person. He tries to stand up to him, disputes his orders, argues that soldiers will die if they follow this course of action. Lee is uninterested and tells him if he doesn't move aside he will have him hanged for desertion. Ben feels sick with fear: on the one hand he cannot allow Lee to get away with this, cannot let hundreds die for no reason. On the other, if he dies here, the knowledge of the Culpers, Andre's scheme in Philadelphia, the warning he carries for Washington, all of that dies with him. He cannot let that happen either.

He wants to believe, whatever Lee says, that surely he knows he can't do anything here and now but he isn't entirely certain Bradford wouldn't go through with it. Not that a court-martial after the battle would be an ideal situation for him but if it will save lives... 

Thankfully that is the point where Washington arrives. He has already heard about the retreat and is furious with Lee when he admits to ordering it, to the point of swearing which is unheard of from their commander. He orders Lee to the rear, making it clear he is in serious trouble. Bradford distances himself from Lee and it seems Washington is fooled but with Culper's letter in hand, Ben isn't going to forget he is still a threat.

Washington acknowledges Ben for the first time in months, though it is only to send him to deliver orders to Generals Wayne and Scott. Their commander then orders Lafayette to takes command of the remains of Lee's forces while he personally takes the rest. They are folded into the reserve and Ben is grateful for the respite; the sun is at its peak and not only are they are all soaked with sweat but his chest aches from the struggle to draw a full breath. He takes the opportunity to check on those other Dragoons in the same situation, checking they are coping. 

The reinforcements make a defensive line, finally get their artillery directed at the British and, despite the poor start and the tremendous heat, by nightfall they have managed to force the British from the field. As the reserve are brought up to press the British retreat, Ben sees the Queen's Rangers are still on the field, Simcoe in the thick of the fighting, splattered with blood as he thrusts with his bayonet. He is smiling as he deals death around him and Ben has to resist going after him personally.

After the battle, Ben hears Lee has been confined to quarters and warned he will be facing a court-martial for his actions. With Lee out of the picture they can move against his supporters.

He finds Bradford sitting alone, perhaps waiting for one of his co-conspirators. "Bradford, you survived." He would almost feel sorry for the other man, with how dejected he looks, if he didn't know what he has planned.

"Why? Are you disappointed?" Bradford sneers, arrogant even in defeat.

Ben shakes his head and keeps walking. Their plan is based on his inability to deal with being ignored, hard as it is to do so.

As predicted, Bradford follows after him, demanding his attention. Ben feels his anger rise as Bradford dares to call him a Judas, with what he has planned! In what way exactly has he betrayed them?

Just a few more steps and they will be clear. It is with great satisfaction he stops and turns once he sees Caleb in the shadows. "Funny you should say that."

Bradford is completely blindsided, so focused is he on Ben. Caleb wrestles him to the ground and into the building and as soon as he is secured, Ben heads to Washington. He tries not to look like he is hurrying, though inside he is aware of time ticking down. Sergeant Hickey is on guard tonight and who knows what he will do without Bradford's direction - if he will act alone or keep waiting for new orders, or even run, leaving them back at the beginning.

He anticipates an argument but Billy preempts it, telling them the general wants to see him. He breathes a sigh of relief that finally Washington is ready to listen but can't help the trickle of nervousness. What if he intends to reprimand him for his behaviour towards Lee?

Instead Washington, coolly indifferent, admits to having believed him all along about Lee but he needed to give the other general enough rope to hang himself, though he still won’t face a charge of treason.

Ben passes Washington the letter from Townsend detailing the conspiracy. Washington allows him to root out the last members. The wait is uncomfortable until Caleb returns to confirm it is done and, with the plot foiled, at least for now, Ben reconciles with Washington. 

It is both heartening to realize that he had trusted him to continue to collect intelligence even without official sanction, and hurtful to think, if it weren't for Arnold, he would have been left to cope with it alone. It does make Hamilton's behaviour make more sense: he has always had Washington's ear so was ideally placed to liaise with him.

Following Washington's example with Lee, Ben suggests Bradford and Hickey are charged with something other than treason, such as counterfeiting. It would not be the first time such a punishment was used to set an example, though not normally with someone of Bradford's rank. They would have to be careful how that was handled, and to ensure he wasn't given an opportunity to dispute it.

Washington's thanks is unexpected and it is strange to hear him address him as 'Benjamin' rather than his rank. He has become accustomed to Arnold being the only one to call him by his full name. He deflects the gratitude where it belongs, onto Caleb and Townsend, and accepts Washington's offer to reinstate him as head of intelligence.

By the time he leaves Washington's tent, Ben is exhausted and he aches. Caleb tries to persuade him to go to bed but he needs to check on his Dragoons; both those still standing and those being treated following the battle. He heard someone say more had fallen to the heat than musket fire but being the vanguard and victim of Lee's scheming means they bore both the brunt of the initial attack and then the retreat took its toll.

Caleb insists on accompanying him. Pol meets them outside the hospital tent with a list of their casualties; nearly a tenth of their horses lost and more than a dozen soldiers dead or wounded. They take one look at him and give an exasperating sigh. “Idiot. You haven’t changed since the battle, have you?”

“I haven’t had time,” he protests.

“Well, you can go now,” they tell him. “I’ll keep an eye on them all. You go to bed.” When Ben shakes his head, they turn to Caleb instead. “Make him see sense.”

Caleb laughs. “When has that ever worked?”

“I just need to see them for myself,” Ben insists and Pol reluctantly concedes.

When he finally drops into his bedroll, he wishes Benedict was there to reassure him. Caleb joins him in the tent and his oldest friend is comforting, though it isn't the same. He distracts Ben by telling him about the near miss in Setauket, how Abe and Anna had been caught by two of Simcoe’s men but fortunately they had tried to be too clever, wanted to uncover the whole conspiracy for themselves. 

He is clearly embarrassed as he tells how the Rangers had got the drop on him but describes with some pride how their friends had kept their cool, how Anna had stabbed one of them in the groin and Abe had helped him impale the other on his own sword and finishes up "and then Annie just shot the man in the head." He sounds as though he isn’t sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

Ben laughs. "Good for her." He can imagine Anna wielding a pistol with alacrity, though he feels vaguely nauseous at the thought of her at the mercy of Simcoe’s Rangers.

The week that follows is long and tiring and surprisingly lonely. Ben hadn't realized how much he had come to rely on Arnold's company until he is without it. He makes an effort to socialize with his Dragoons, writes letters to the families of those who had died, makes arrangements for the continued treatment of those wounded and encourages the others in their duties but all the while his mind is in Philadelphia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual historical nitpicking - The Continental Army retook Philadelphia on June 19, 1778 and the Battle of Monmouth occurred 9 days later on June 28, enough time for letters to be exchanged from the capital. Also, as previously noted, although the show states that when Caleb arrives at Monmouth it is the first time Ben's seen him since he went off to rescue Abe from New York, at least four months should have passed. This chapter (and the previous ones) assume Caleb has been continuing to act as a courier between Abe and the army over the intervening four months and the letter from Townsend isn't the first intelligence they've received from him.
> 
> I'll point out here that historically neither Benjamin Tallmadge nor any of his Dragoons were at the Battle of Monmouth (there were no Continental Dragoons present at all) and so my description of the battle itself is my best guess between what actually happened and what names and numbers the show gives. Ben's "four troops of dragoons provisioned and ready to ride" is difficult to quantify since a 'troop' is not a fixed number of individuals but I'm guessing we're looking at 200-400 dragoons. The official Continental Army return gives their losses for Monmouth as 69 killed (later increased by another 37 due to heatstroke) and 161 injured. If losses were evenly split across all units, the dragoons would have suffered 3-6 deaths and 5-10 injured but in this scenario I would guess they would have taken disproportionate losses. Let's also ignore the vanishing horses (since Ben even says the dragoons are cavalry) - all the battle scenes are kind of low of numbers so I guess AMC didn't have the budget to include mounted troops too.


	11. Chapter 11

With the issue of Lee's treachery resolved, or at least as much as is possible for the moment, Ben turns his attention back to the conundrum of Peggy Shippen and her possible connection with Major André.

He pushes down his jealousy at the thought of Benedict taking a wife and writes back to him in the same vein as the letter he received, advising him to ‘chase what he wants,’ to go ahead and speak with Judge Shippen to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Ben imagines the man to be somewhat like Abe's father, stern and unyielding. Whether he is party to any deception or if he will simply act according to his own prejudice, they can only find out by approaching him. If, as expected, he refuses his permission then they will know where they stand and, if marriage is genuinely what Miss Shippen wants, she will no doubt be the one to talk him round.

He tells Benedict briefly about the battle, including how he had wished for someone of his skill, and what has passed with Lee, since he will hear about it in official dispatches anyway and promises that he will visit him in Philadelphia as soon as he is no longer needed here. They will know better by then what the Shippen's intentions are and can decide how matters will play out. Ben wishes he could write his true feelings without fear of repercussions and wonders if Benedict would appreciate their special ink.

Meanwhile, arrangements are being made for Lee's court-martial. Ben will have to join several other officers in making a statement about what happened in the battle. Lee is defending himself, which means Ben needs to be prepared to be interrogated about his true sympathies. He is certain the general will do his best to make him seem biased, try to use his loyalty to Washington against him, but he can't imagine any tribunal finding that a reasonable argument.

They interrogate Hickey and Bradford to find the names of their co-conspirators in the camp. A hundred pounds is a huge amount for Bradford to have received personally and he must have been paying off others. Hickey is defiant, convinced of his own moral superiority. Bradford is smug even in defeat, believing that they will be traded. He knows the name ‘Culper’ but when offered a stay of execution as an incentive neither of them can provide his true name. Ben takes great pleasure in watching Bradford’s realization that nothing is going to save him from the gallows.

Bradford and Hickey's executions take place within the week, with the rain setting the mournful scene, and no-one outside Washington's inner circle is any the wiser about their real crime, though Hickey tries to get in some last words about a plot against Washington. Fortunately the weather had prevented the hanging being a major spectacle, though it was no less gruesome for it. Ben wants to turn away, stomach churning at the sight, but grits his teeth, thinking of Nathan suffering the same fate.

Lee's court martial begins shortly after. He is charged with disobeying orders, misbehavior in retreating before the enemy, and acting in a disrespectful manner toward General Washington. Hamilton privately tells him Lee, having heard of Colonel Bradford’s execution, is blaming him for anything he did which was even vaguely treasonous. It is unclear why Lee believes that suggesting he knew one of his aides-de-camp was a traitor will hold as a defense, since it was on his word the man had been promoted to Colonel.

In preparation for giving his evidence, Ben meets with Washington to discuss how much he is allowed to say. It would hardly be honorable to admit he had served with Lee under false pretenses but it will be easy for the general to paint him as a glory hunter, and that any losses the dragoons had suffered were due to him rather than Lee's deliberately poor leadership.

The trial drags on as they advance across New Jersey. Slowly his Dragoons recover in the aftermath of Monmouth, one by one returning to full duty or heading home for recuperation. Most of the victims of the heat were well within days but some seem more affected by it. Ben finds the unseasonable heat is still weighing on him, leaving him tired and aching at the end of each day.

His thoughts turn to Setauket and Abe and Anna's close call with Simcoe's people. As far as he knows Simcoe survived the battle, their forces certainly hadn't found his body and the man seems to live a charmed life. Will he be returning to Setauket and what if he is still suspicious of Abe? He has assured Washington the ring is secure but what if he is wrong? He can only hope the British officer is distracted by the changing fortunes of the war.

 

* * *

Benedict receives a response to his letter from Benjamin and it is with relief he notes the date is after the battle. He would never have forgiven Washington if anything had happened to Benjamin while he was stuck here in Philadelphia. The news about Lee comes as no surprise and, if his court martial reaches the expected outcome of seeing him stripped of his rank, maybe that will silence the last of Washington's critics.

Benjamin writes advising him to press his suit with Miss Shippen, wishing him the best of luck. Although he understands the logic behind his argument, part of him wishes the letter had rejected the idea, let him know in words that his suit should be directed in line with his heart, not duty, he knew that would never be the case. He would have to be satisfied with what they had and, though patience wasn't usually his strong point, somehow for Benjamin he had nothing but.

Following his advice he approaches Judge Shippen, though it is a few days before he is able to gain an audience with the man. It is very different from making the arrangements for his first marriage. He had known Samuel Mansfield well and it had been a mutually beneficial agreement. Furthermore he and Margaret had been much closer in age, she being older then than Miss Shippen is now, and as flattered as he is by her interest, the difference seems too great. She is younger even than Benjamin and he is struck by the gap between them at times.

He is therefore surprised when his arguments succeed and the judge gives his blessing to the marriage. Peggy arrives as they are closing the agreement but he is called away before he can see her full reaction to the news, though her initial shock raises his suspicions that Benjamin may be right about her intentions. The urgent situation does at least include a delivery of letters and his temper improves at the sight of Benjamin's handwriting.

He skims through the letter, soaking up the news and tucks it into an inner pocket to pore over later, as his reward at the end of a long day. He might resent being given an administrator's job but he could never argue it is not a challenge. Still he seems to spend more time arguing with jumped up local functionaries than achieving any kind of military ends.

He has also spent time looking for a more permanent residence; he certainly doesn't want to stay in the Franklin house, which he suspects holds memories of Major André for Peggy. It doesn't take him long to find Penn Mansion, which is a beautiful house and large enough that he could arrange for his sons to come and live with them. He closes his eyes and imagines his boys running down the halls. Even Hannah if she's willing to sell the business and relocate.

He doesn’t see Miss Shippen for over a day, then she comes to visit late one evening, once again unchaperoned. Admittedly they are now technically engaged but it has not yet been formally announced and he hasn’t even had the chance to tell Benjamin about it, had been planning to write to him this evening.

Peggy isn’t as enthusiastic about the house as he had hoped but it is when she suggests delaying their wedding until her elder sister is married, that he starts to truly believe Benjamin was right about her loyalties, especially when she reveals said sister had been engaged to a British officer. On top of his other concerns, and the chronic pain, he is barely holding in his temper and is unfairly short with her. Perhaps he is being unreasonable to think they can marry immediately, and would regret the haste if she agreed, but her argument is baffling, especially when her father had raised no such objection.

He knows he should refuse her when she suggests that, though they are delaying their wedding day, there is no need to wait for the wedding night but she is very beautiful, and he is only a man. It is quickly clear as she guides their liaison that she is no innocent and he wonders if she had lain with André in this very bed.

He feels guilty for using her as a distraction even as he reminds himself she initiated this. He tries to make it good for her too but she holds herself tense against him and doesn't respond. She makes her excuses afterwards and, though she tries to hide it as she leaves, there are tear tracks evident on her face and his stomach twists. He tries to argue to himself that she is probably manipulating him but it doesn’t make him feel any better about it.

It takes him a long time to get to sleep afterwards, the bed cold and empty. He misses Benjamin with a visceral ache and wonders how long it will be until he will see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoying reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it!
> 
> There will be a sequel to this (I've already started writing) but I am going to wait and see what dates S3 gives for Arnold's betrayal to decide if I'm going to map it to the series timeline, or diverge from canon here and go to the historical dates but using scenes from the series. In the meantime, I have a few more 'omitted scenes' to add to "No Turning Back" which should be up over the next week or two.
> 
> Comments always welcome - including things you'd like to see in the sequel...

**Author's Note:**

> [aleksrothis](http://aleksrothis.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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